Bill Simmons blurb

I got a laugh out of this from a Bill Simmons "Mailbag" column about the whole Manti Te'o deal and thought I'd pass it along.

Q: Has there ever been a better SportsCenter headline than "BREAKING NEWS: MANTI TE'O'S GIRLFRIEND DID NOT EXIST"? The only other one that comes to mind for me is when the anchors repeatedly had to say "Purple Drank" and "sizzurp" during the Jamarcus Russell story. And how does ESPN determine what gets the "Breaking News" tag? Why didn't we see "Breaking News: Rex Ryan has a foot fetish" or "Breaking News: LaLa Anthony might taste like Honey Nut Cheerios"? I think ESPN needs to put you in charge of this.
—Nick, Atlanta

SG: I couldn't handle the responsibility of being in charge of the "Breaking News" tag, especially when I'm getting irrational about my favorite teams. (After the Celtics no-showed that New Orleans game on Wednesday night, I would have been putting up stuff like, "BREAKING NEWS: RAJON RONDO DECIDES TO STICK A 40-CENT STAMP ON THE 2013 NBA SEASON" and "BREAKING NEWS: DOCTORS LOCATE THE FORK STICKING OUT OF JASON TERRY'S BACK.") But you raise a great point: Was it really "BREAKING NEWS" that Manti's girlfriend didn't exist? Shouldn't we tweak that to something a little different, like "BREAKING WTF: MANTI TE'O'S GIRLFRIEND DID NOT EXIST"? I'd like to see us blow out the WTF beat much like we blew out sports business with Darren Rovell.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/8856794/the-all-teo-mailbag

When I grow up I want to be Bill Simmons.

Or, at least, write like him. He's a hoot everytime.


bob


.