XXX rated Onion humor story about Danny at BY U

Warning: this story is xxx rated.

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/report-danny-ainge-got-tons-of-pussy-at-byu,19685/

I'm absolutely horrified, having been a model of decorum at all times during my life.

Did I ever tell you about the sub rosa stakes in the ten-minute typing competitions that were held in our h.s. typing class, which numbered 20 females and four males? And how, every Friday, I used to visit the bank where my dad worked, unattatch a legal-size manual typewriter from a desk, drag it home, and practice for 15-20 hours during every weekend?

I can't recall what the payoff was when a girl won the competition. It never once happened to me. I do recall the payoff venue. It was always at a drive-in theater.

And the guys all around school called the rest of us wimps because we took typing. We may have seemed like wimps because we were often exhausted. We played more minutes per week than Rondo does. And I grew to love the movies.

Yeah, I'm all bent out of shape about that nasty Danny Ainge in college.

Sam

Sam, You do know that this story was totally fictional, don't you? I hesitated to post it because the language was a bit rough, the level of decorum here is so high, and I don't want to besmirch Danny's name. But I did it anyway for a cheap laugh. LOL.

W

did you notice the article captioned at the bottom too?

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/terrified-ray-allen-discovers-celtics-lab-containi,19236/?utm_source=recentnews



Now that would be scary!

beat

Beat, Amazing story about Ray and the TD North basement. Now that story I believe is true.

W

And people will be bitching on here that Ainge cloned Baby and not KG!

Geesh!

beat

W,

Glad mine wasn't fictional.

Sam

Speaking of basketball, or as it is called now, lameball.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUbVM47LHXk

thanx for a great laugh guys, needed it..

Hey, Matty, a couple of days ago, you mentioned that you had received bad news. If you're willing to share, what's up? (Feel free to contact me by Private Message if you'd prefer.)

Sam

sam wrote:Hey, Matty, a couple of days ago, you mentioned that you had received bad news. If you're willing to share, what's up? (Feel free to contact me by Private Message if you'd prefer.)

Sam

Sam,
my best freind, a fella whose family and mine have known and been freinds/coworkers & buisness associates for 4 generations, was first like a second father and then like a brother to me and who has 2 sister in laws ive been engaged to got really sick last week, ended up in the hospital and tommorow will be having a quadrouple bypass.

on top of that, his sister in law (the one i just visited & hiked the grand canyon with) was planning to come and rush home, but one of her coworkers had a serious acciddent and she is forced to stay out west and deal with the ongoing investigation ect..

she's scared about the surgery- her dad died right after the exact same surgery a few yrs ago and devestated to not be able to be here, and now an emotional wreck due to the accident.

been trying to keep her positive while equaly nervous about the surgery myself, but she's kinda getting hit on two fronts, so really working to keep her upbeat.

Just gotta get past tommorow though and i think everything will be ok though, we're just scared to death about the "what ifs". He's out of town and last night i finely got to see him, heading back this afternoon again but it was just heartbreaking seeing him lookin so frail. Dood has been in construction and an outdoorsman his whole life and maybe one of the toughest people ive ever known- he looked like a 90 yr old woman could've knocked him over last night.

last night though at the hospital we went out for wings and beer (i threw in some bourbon as well) and right in front if us on the big screen the Celtics were on- and winning and that was a welcomed site! First thing i did when i got home was jump on here and check out the board.. knowing we kicked some arse was refreshing- and this thread more than put a smile on my face..

we've got plenty of people on the board going through all sorts of difficulties, Jeb, muculgi, Chloe, Quiete Reader ect.. this board continues to be a refreshing brother(& sister)hood when the ball aint dribbeling our way.. kudo's to all ya'll for making it so..

Matty

hope the ball dribbles your way thru all this and in a couple of weeks you'll be looking back and saying no big deal! (but I know it is right now)

beat

Thanx beat,

thats what we're all waiting for, to get beyond the surgery- and being able to think it was no biggy.. actauly there is some silver lining in all this, somehow we've been able to draw the conclusion that part of the recovery process includes long hours of fishing assisted by healthy doses of bourbon.. (well me and the other matt, i dunno if Tom will be allowed any booze for a while). Its just a wait and see for now..

Matty,

Thanks for sharing that news. Fortunately, heart surgery has made dramatic advances every single year. I have reason to keep up with the latest news on the Cleveland Clinic website (which I recommend). And process has been much more refined since the time of the earlier tragedy.

And it's highly likely that you'll be amazed at how he becomes much more energized when he's on the mend.

Sending all good thoughts your way.

Sam

Considering that Danny had a heart attack when he heard KG was out for the season, I guess we're still on topic with this thread!

thanx guys,
Sam they've had a few of these operations in the family and each time its been just as you said, with advancments and improveents its a whole diffrent story- my grandfather had his in 93 and neverfully recovered though he survived for some time. and like i said, his father in law passed away from complications a few yrs back from same surgery.

the team they have working on him (in surgery right now) is a very highly regarded team and he'll have the best treatement money can buy, we are all thankfull for that..

one of his freinds whose in the medical feild flew in to see him sunday had his brother have a bypass from these same guys who are working on him. operation went quite well and like you said, came out with a renenwed enrgry and felt bettter than he had in years, thats exactly the outcome we're hoping for.

thanx again for the concern,

matty

Matty, Don't show him your avatar too soon after the surgery.

worcester wrote:Matty, Don't show him your avatar too soon after the surgery.

haha, trust me i wont.. they are now putting him back together! so far everything is awesome..

now, the most serious problem he's facing is the fact that, well, he's a laker fan. (no one is perfect)

now, the most serious problem he's facing is the fact that, well, he's a laker fan.

Matty

if they are putting him back together and he's still a laker fan they didn't take enough out think they ought to go back and do this surgery correctly!

beat