A Knick fans humorous view on upcoming season

Keep in mind this is a Knicks fan's opinion, so every compliment will be backhanded and every appraisal of what the Knicks need to do to win will be inflated. That's ok with me, grudging respect (even if delivered with a snarl) is still respect. In fact, it's even better that way since you know how much it hurt them to give it. It makes it more believable than the saccharine sweet love bubbles blown the Celtics' way by green-goggled fanatics (which I proudly admit to being). It's just that when I read a non-Celtic blogger giving us props even as the words stick in their throats is like silencing a crowd on the road. It's great having your home crowd screaming your name but there's just something special about having a hostile road crowd sitting there and suffering in glowering, mute resentment of your superiority. Personally, this blog made me laugh out loud at this Knick fan's obvious gastric acid problems with the Celtics. The same thing happened when I read a Heat blogger being upset because Doc wants his team to hate the Heat. Poor little flower...heheheheh.

I never said I was a "nice guy".


http://www.postingandtoasting.com/2012/9/27/3410354/2012-2013-atlantic-division-preview-boston-celtics


2012-2013 Atlantic Division Preview: Boston Celtics























By Joe Flynn on Sep 27, 8:22a


















Chris Trotman - Getty Images











Knicks vs. Celtics: the NBA's version of Walter Matthau vs. Jack Lemmon. Which group of old men will emerge grumpier in '12-'13?













Here's the fourth and final installment (unless there's a
new team I didn't know about, like the Brattleboro Frostdonkeys or
something) in Joe's 2012-2013 Atlantic Division Preview series. -Seth


A few weeks ago Seth held an ol' fashioned Internet straw poll to determine the Knicks'
biggest rival. Personally, I found the whole exercise insulting; how
could I distill a lifetime of Knicks-related heartache and rage into the
mere click of a mouse? My hatred is quite nuanced - there are a lot of
ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what-have-yous. I hate the Heat and the Celtics with all my heart, but which team do I hate with more all my heart?


I did a lot of soul-searching. I talked to a couple of Buddhists and a blind Chinese psychic. I watched 15 minutes of the film Celtic Pride. The answer, it seemed, was a little more complex than I would have liked.


For you see, the Heat are more detestable as an organization. They're
run by Pat Riley, for God's sake. As much as I hate Boston teams in
every sport, the Boston - New York sports rivalry is based on at least a
teensy-weensy bit of mutual fan respect. I simply can not say the same
thing for Heat fans - seriously, just look at them.
Even the Celtics' mighty and overbearing history doesn't bother me,
since the great Knick teams of the 90's - my childhood - weren't held
back by the Celtics. The Heat, on the other hand, are the bane of my
Knicks fanhood - past, present and future.


That being said, I think I hate the Celtics more as individual players. Let's break down the roster:



Kevin Garnett: xenophobic douche

Rajon Rondo: moody, triangle-headed douche

Jason Terry: always kinda seemed like a douche...signing with the Celtics confirms it

Chris Wilcox: former Knick douche

Kris Joseph: only a douche squad would have two different spellings of the name Chris

...and we haven't even come to the Lord of the Douche, Mr. Paul Anthony Pierce.

That's a veritable tsunami of douche - a douche-nami, if you will.


Last summer these two teams met in an seven-game Eastern Conference
Final that I can only assume will be re-played on the waiting room TV as
I prepare to enter hell. After five games of incessant scowling and
preening and preen-scowling and scowl-preening, the Celtics had a 3-2
series lead - two chances to irrevocably crush Lebron's fragile psyche
and set off a glorious off-season of turmoil in Miami. Instead, they
helped Lebron to finally see himself for what he was all along: the most
unstoppable force in the NBA. And now America has to suffer through the
reign of King James. Needless to say, if I were the US Attorney General
the entire Celtic franchise would be on trial for treason.


And how did the Knicks fare against these Benedict Arnolds of the hardwood in '11-'12? Two - count 'em - two wins,
baby! WOOT WOOT! According to my research, this was the first time the
Knicks took two games from the Celtics since Red Holtzman coached the
team, mutton-chop sideburns were all the rage and rampaging armies of
Mamluks on horseback patrolled the Ottoman empire.


KG in particular was kind enough to provide one of the highlights of the season:



via assets.sbnation.com

...no words...should have sent...a poet.

On second thought, they did send a poet.


KG's matador act aside, everybody knows by now that the Celtics win
with defense. They finished first overall in defensive efficiency last
season and haven't finished out of the top five in the KG era. Their
offense, however, is a different story. They were 27th in offensive
efficiency last year despite finishing in the top ten in FG%, 3P% and
assists. How did they manage to pull that off? Well, they also finished
25th in TOV% and dead last ORB%, and it's rather difficult to put up
points in the NBA while denying yourself second-chance scoring
opportunities and first-chance scoring opportunities.


After coming within one win of the Finals, GM Danny Ainge kept the band together...most of the band, anyway. Ray Allen
apparently grew so angry with the organization that he took less money
to go Miami, their most hated rival. So congratulations, Ray Allen:
you're officially the 1000th star athlete to leave a Boston sports
franchise on bad terms. You've just won a 20-dollar gift certificate to
Dunkin Donuts! Never forget, Ray, America runs on Dunkin'.


Losing Allen won't affect their starting lineup - Doc Rivers had already replaced him with Avery Bradley by the end of last season. As you can see here,
Rivers made the right move. The Celtics were clearly better with
Bradley in the lineup. In fact, the Garnett-Bass-Pierce-Bradley-Rondo
lineup was number one in net points per 100 possessions among lineups that played at least 200 minutes. Yikes. The Celtics will miss Allen coming off the bench - they're relying on Courtney Lee to replace his shooting and Jason Terry to replace his agedness.


The Celtics will also need some of their reserve bigs to step up.
They were a terrible rebounding team last year, and they lost their
second best rebounder, Greg Stiemsma, to free agency. Garnett is still a beast on defense, but he's 36, he can't do everything, and by the time Shumptober rolls around he'll be preoccupied with the tall task of keeping Iman Shumpert's nuts out of his face.

.GIF BREAK!



via assets.sbnation.com


Annnnnd, we're back. The Celtics attempted to solve their big man
problem through the draft, using the 20th and 21st overall picks on Jared Sullinger and Fab Melo.
I'm not overly concerned with Fab Melo, but let me go on the record as
saying I'm worried about Sullinger. How the hell did the Celtics end up
with him at 20? I understand he had back problems, and that might have
concerned me as a GM...if I were picking in the top 10 or 15. At 20 he
seems like a pretty good deal. Of course, there was more than back
issues at play here - take it away, ESPN:

<blockquote>
"The biggest question about the 6-foot-9 Sullinger coming out of Ohio State was a bulging disc in his back. The other issue was whether his below-the-rim game would translate at the NBA level."

</blockquote>

If you're unfamiliar with scout-speak, "below-the-rim game" means
they have questions about his athleticism. Again, this might have
concerned me...if I were picking in the top 10. This seems like a
classic case of a no-doubt college prospect staying in school a year too
long and falling prey to a pack of overzealous scout and
too-clever-by-half GMs in love with athleticism. I can imagine the
discussions taking place in the war room on draft night:


Assistant GM: "What about Sullinger? He has some injury concerns, but he seems like a good value pick this late in the draft."


GM: "Nevermind all that, somebody just emailed me a Youtube clip
of some 6-10 kid in Saskatchewan jumping over a Buick. Quick, draft that
kid and hire whoever posted that video as our new chief of scouting!"


Wouldn't it be just like the damn Celtics to luck out on a player
near the end of the first round because other teams worried about
athleticism? I think Sullinger has a good future, but for the time being
the Celtics are just hoping anybody steps up to help KG,
especially since their closest competitors in the Atlantic have taken
big steps to strengthen their front lines in recent years.


And now for the million-dollar question: can the Knicks finally
vanquish the Celtics? I think they have a few factors working in their
favor. The first factor has absolutely nothing to do with the Knicks and
everything to do with the Celtics. At this point, this team is what I
like the call a Shaq team - like Shaq did throughout the better part of
his career, the Celtics treat the regular season as basically an
extended training camp. Given their age and experience, this is the most
logical course of action. They need to rest their key guys, and they
know they can win a playoff series on the road. It sounds cliche, but
the Celtics play for championships, not division titles. The Knicks, on
the other hand, sure as hell better play for the division title.


Secondly, and most important, the Knicks can finally stand toe-to-toe
with the Celtics. I think we saw this last year, with the Knicks
winning two games and taking a third to overtime. The Knicks can defend
with Boston, and they have the size to bother Boston's small-ball
lineup. With all their turmoil the Knicks finished a mere three games
behind Boston - the Celtics had their own turmoil, to be sure, but I
think the Knicks' turmoil was turmoilier. What the Knicks lack is
consistency. Year after year, the Celtics operate like a well-oiled
machine, while Knicks operate more like a Mexican stand-off. If their
starters learn to play together, especially on offense, and if they
learn to show up against teams like the Cavaliers,
the Knicks will be right there with Boston. Of course, the fans in
Philly and Brooklyn probably believe the same thing. The Atlantic
Division will be a beast next year, no doubt about it.


Note: the word "Shumptober" refers to the first month of the Shump
calendar, which is set to take effect when Iman Shumpert returns from
his knee injury. His first game back will be marked as Shumpturday,
Shumptober 1st of the year 1 A.S. ('Anno Shump'...it's Latin)

bob


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