Important Basketball News from the Onion

by **worcester** Wed Jun 18, 2014 4:36 pm

Three articles:

1. http://www.theonion.com/articles/tim-duncan-busy-at-san-antonio-zoning-office-plann,36301/

2. http://www.theonion.com/articles/miami-heat-dont-have-heart-to-tell-devoted-fans-th,36298/

3. http://www.theonion.com/articles/cavaliers-gm-believes-joel-embiid-perfect-prospect,36174/

...AND THEN THESE THREE PRICELESS CAPTIONS:

1. http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-john-calipari-offered-cavaliers-20-million,36234/

2. http://www.theonion.com/articles/spurs-nearly-live-up-to-gregg-popovichs-expectatio,36290/

3. http://www.theonion.com/articles/patrick-ewing-donates-bucket-of-game-sweat-to-nba,36166/

by **Sam** Wed Jun 18, 2014 10:55 pm

Is the article about the Heat being unable to tell their fans they lost for real? It has to be tongue-in-cheek. There are television sets falling off trucks all the time in Miami, for Pete's sake. Or could the writer possibly be assuming Heat fans don't know the difference between winning and losing?

Weird!

Sam

by **worcester** Wed Jun 18, 2014 11:01 pm

Sam...the Onion is the 21st century answer to Jonathan's Swift's satire.
The Miami Heat story was bogus but true in spirit.

by **Sam** Thu Jun 19, 2014 12:05 am

W,

Thanks for the clarification. I'm embarrassed even to have given it a shred of serious thought.

I think what made me do it was the possibility that Lebron's ego might be so huge that he would feel empowered to "spin" the results of the series to Miami fans. Can't you see the irony of his complaining that the Spurs are a bunch of thugs?

Sam

by **gyso** Thu Jun 19, 2014 5:38 am

Worcester,

Two points.

1. Your first group of three links says "Two articles", and

by **kdp59** Thu Jun 19, 2014 7:56 am

wasn't there a story a few years back about pone of the major cable news networks repeating an Onion story as real?

I seem to remember something about that, but not the details...if true that's the funnier than anything they've ever done!

by **Sloopjohnb** Thu Jun 19, 2014 9:58 am

“They were so ecstatic after the last two championships—I mean, you should’ve seen the looks on their faces when we told them—so I just don’t want to be the one to break their hearts like this. Maybe Chris [Bosh] can do it; they already hate him anyway.” At press time, Heat players had reportedly agreed to just say they had won the championship since their fans would never know the difference."

Captures the spirit of fans who come late, leave early and boo their team when they play poorly in the finals.

Reminds me of the stereotype of Lakers airhead, celebrity obsessed fans.

by **beat** Thu Jun 19, 2014 11:25 am

Sloop

The Onion s a total "National Lampoon" type of article. Absolutely nothing in it is FACTUAL but is made to appear so. To take a quote from it and believe it is nonsense BUT that said sometimes their stories are quite believable...........and like most all humor, in large part it is based on a truth.

beat

by **worcester** Thu Jun 19, 2014 11:33 am

Iran has on several occasions swallowed Onion articles whole and reprinted them in their national press as true. Most notable was when the Onion wrote that the Iranian President Achmejinidad (sp?) was voted sexiest man alive!

by **worcester** Thu Jun 19, 2014 11:34 am

Gyso - I corrected the math error! You're not our capolologist for nothing.

by **Sloopjohnb** Thu Jun 19, 2014 1:25 pm

The Onion is a lampoon and good Lampoons capture the underlying spirit of their intended target.

Arriving late, leaving early and booing your team in the finals no less sure do remind me of the stereotype of the spoiled, ignorant, entitled fan I've always associated with LaLa land.

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