The Nuclear Option - Going Full Hinkie

http://www.celticsblog.com/2014/5/30/5758706/burn-it-down-burn-it-to-the-ground


The nuclear option - going full Hinkie
By Jeff Clark  @celticsblog on May 30 2014, 7:00a 33




Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports
What if it all goes bad and the Celtics burn it to the ground?


And now I will waste everyone's time with a work of pure sensationalism and overreaction for fun.

Let's say that Kevin Love is not traded to the Celtics.  Let's say that the Celtics can't get any value for the picks that we have.  Let's make wild speculation that Rondo is impatient with the rebuilding process and isn't on board with the current administration.  Let's say that he (quietly) asks Danny Ainge to finally find a new home for him.

Given that set of circumstances, I could imagine Danny pushing his chair back, taking a deep breath, and opening a box with a big red button in it, pausing for effect, and slamming his palm on top of it.  (Cut to mushroom cloud)

The Celtics didn't win the lottery, if they can't have Love and Rondo then their chances of bouncing back into contender status seem slim.  There's a chance (however small) they might just go all out into Sam Hinkie tanking mode next year.  So I thought I'd take a look at what that might actually look like.

The goals are to pick up as many high draft picks as possible, add talented young players on rookie contracts, and lose a lot of games.  Kind of like what they did this past year, only a lot more deliberate.

Step 1 is trading Rondo for a haul.  The Rockets are sure to be interested but I'm not sure if they have what I'd want to get the deal done.  Instead, I'd sell Rondo on a future in Sacramento (or at least sell Sactown on taking him without a guarantee that he'd re-sign).  Let's go back to that rumor from a few months back (via Marc Spears):

NBA Trade Rumor: Kings offered trade package for Rajon Rondo - CelticsBlog

Source said Kings and C's discussed a deal involving Isaiah Thomas, Ben McLemore and a pick for Rajon Rondo, but Rondo wasn't interested in re-signing with Sacramento and the Kings strongly value McLemore.
Ok, step one done.

Next up, the supporting cast veterans.

Jeff Green has to go.  Hey, the Wizards have "long been fans" of him.  Otto Porter and Kevin Seraphin for Jeff Green.  Done.

Who wants a stable, veteran power forward?  Anyone?  I tell you right now that if Ainge could get a first rounder for Brandon Bass it would be done by now.  So you have to get creative and call up someone desperate.

Hey Knicks!  How about Brandon Bass, Gerald Wallace, and Joel Anthony for Amare Stoudamire?  New York gets 3 productive players and the Celtics shave a year off of Wallace's deal, lining up for huge cap room in 2015.

Ok, let's pause for a moment and sift through the carnage.

Remaining "depth chart" looks like this:

PG: Isaiah Thomas, Phil Pressey

SG: Ben McLemore, Chris Babb

SF: Otto Porter, Chris Johnson

PF: Sullinger, Olynyk, Stoudamire

C: Seraphin, Faverani, Colton Iverson

Ladies and gents, the best Summer League team money can buy!

On Draft Night we'll have the #6, #8, and #17 picks to work with.  We'll still have all the Nets picks and next year's Clippers pick as well.  If Ainge can trade up into the top 4 maybe he can get a future star.  Otherwise you just take the best talent available and hope to develop them.

The Celtics would still hold the rights to Avery Bradley but they'd either let him walk for nothing or try to work out some kind of minor sign-and-trade deal where we take an expiring contract and a future protected pick or something like that.

I'm pretty sure the above team (plus 3 rookies) would be looking at the lottery (unless Stevens goes full mid-major-in-Final-Four mode and grabs the 8th seed).  We haven't had a lot of lottery luck but stud center Jahil Okafor would be sitting there at number 1 if we landed it.  We'd also have a bajillion dollars in cap room next year to play with however we wanted.  Danny would once again have options galore.

Does any of this put us closer to winning a Banner?  Is this the kind of fireworks that Wyc Grousbeck was talking about?  Would the fans be happy with these moves?  Inquiring minds want to know.

I will now enter the witness protection program and never write on the Internet ever again.



bob
MY NOTE:  Only 27 days!  Only 27 more days before a large chunk of this BS is introduced to the circular file (and then we enter another phase where the BS will fly until the free agent moratorium ends and those deals actually start happening).  Sell Sacto on taking Rondo when Rondo has said he won't re-sign with them?  And he calls that "Step 1 done"?  Yeah, Wiz like Green but not at his salary!  So throwing that out there as part of the demolition is BS unless you're going to throw in the $10.3M trade exception too. Otto Porter and Kevin Seraphin for Green? I'd love that. Wiz? I doubt it.

About all I can say about this article in its defense is that it does appear to be written a bit tongue-in-cheek.  If not, then I firmly endorse the last sentence of the article.

I do like, however, the coining of the term "full Hinkie" as a euphemism for mindless, complete destruction.  "He told me my socks were mismatched, so I took a tire iron and went "full Hinkie" on him, officer.  I didn't think he'd have brain damage though. I only hit him 8 or 9 times, I would have thought I'd have to hit him more than that for that to happen."



.

wow......and I thought I had some wild ideas!

truth is this off-season could go a lot of different ways, but will probably not be "all in" either way.

At least this guy expressed his intention in the very first sentence. I must confess, I though I would never see the word "tank" in a non-military context again this year. When this guy used that term, I was so stunned in mid-floss that I'm now going around with string hanging out my mouth.

Sam