Interview With Danny Ainge

by **dboss** Mon Dec 30, 2019 1:55 pm

Before the year flips over to 2020 we hoped for a year end discussion with Danny Ainge. I have to figure out how to get him to pick up the tab. He has a way to really stick it to people. If I can come away with only giving up a 2nd round of drinks, I'll win.

We are all set up to do a live podcast at Giulia in Cambridge. I can never find a parking space so I was gonna take an Uber but I decided to take a new service that is taking the market by storm. It's called RYAO (ride your ass off) I heard their rates are cheaper. Plus they got these special adult size car seats that are very comfortable. I'll send you a link to the app.

My goodness, there's Danny standing outside talking on his Smart phone.

Interviewer: Hey Danny, I heard this is a great place if you like Italian.

Danny: I think you'll like it.

Interviewer: Can I assume that you'll be expensing this lunch?

Danny: Let's order and not worry about that. Do you like Italian?

Interviewer: love it.

Waiter: are you ready to order?

Danny: Yes, I'll have spaghetti.

Waiter: I'm sorry but that is not on the menu.

Interviewer: I know what I want. I'll have the buckwheat pizzoccheri (cabbage, potatoes, fontina and fresh black truffles)

Danny: I'll have the same.

Waiter: drinks?

Danny: Not now.

Interviewer: Nothing for me.

Interviewer: We have so many questions for you. Here we are deep into the season but we want to go back to the end of last season. The disappointing playoff loss to the Bucks, then the draft and free agency. Danny you have been busy.

Interviewer: Danny what happened?

Danny: The team could not find chemistry last year. It was a combination of many things.

I know everyone wants to blame Kyrie but he was completely to blame. He had some issues last year and I think Terry Rozier was the main culprit.

Interviewer: how so?

Danny: Kyrie lost all focus because he kept having a reoccurring nightmare of Terry wearing that stupid Scary Terry mask. Terry knew it bothered him and thought that it would help him take the starting PG slot from Kyrie.

Interviewer: Did the Celtics organization try to get Kyrie some help? Some professional counselling?

Danny: We did. We brought in many specialists that are experts in all aspects of human behavior. We tried shock therapy. We tried isolation in our 1-3-1 offensive sets. We let him rent the practice facility so that he and his dad could experience a special moment together. We tried extended dribbling exercises. Nothing seemed to work. In the end we just told him to keep shooting in hopes that he could shoot away the fear.

Interviewer: So why did he leave? Why the Nets. It seems the Celtics did everything they could.

Danny: He has always had a fascination with the Brooklyn Bridge. The Nets were willing to add a sweetner in his contract that guarantees a walk across the bridge backwards at 1:27 PM every day during home games.

Interviewer: I see. That would be hard to match.

Interviewer: What about Al.

Danny: We made Al a fair offer but let's remember he was a mercenary when we signed him and he stayed a mercenary.

Interviewer: Your big FA signing was Kemba.

Danny: I love kemba ever since he played at uconn. We had to maintain consistency at the point by getting a high scoring guy that cannot play defense. We went from IT to Kyrie so Kemba was a perfect fit and he is a staunch believer that the earth is round. That nailed it for me.

Interviewer: You drafted Romeo Langford out of Indiana. Grant out of TN and Carsen Edwards from Purdue and Tremont Waters out of LSU.

Danny: I'm glad LSU beat the crap out of Oklahoma.

Interviewer: Can you tell us more about these players.

Danny: Romeo was Mr all world basketball in Indiana when he was in high school. He injured his big right toe but played through the pain. I like tough guys. Carsen is a shooter and me and Brad love shooters. Waters is from the northeast so I really like him.

Interviewer: And Grant Williams?

Danny: I had to draft him. He wouldn't stop talking. I had to draft him. He wouldn't stop talking. I had to...

Interviewer: I get it, he talked you into drafting him.

Interviewer: Tacko Fall

Danny: You gotta love him. He's very tall. We see a lot of upside. We are working with him to just stand under the basket and put it right in. We have a trick play where he goes and stands under the basket in the same spot and never moves. We do not want him to play defense so he can just stand there on one end of the court. We have even added a wrinkle where Tremont stands on his shoulders to receive the pass. I think the fans will love this and really appreciate the creativity.

Interviewer: So Danny there were a lot of changes around the NBA with all the elite paring that took place. How come you could not make a deal for AD.

Danny: They (NO) wanted too much plus AD father had an allergic reaction to truth and lastly Lebron James and his agent needed a high profile player to blame when the Lakers got dusted.

Interviewer: Are we all set to take a few calls?

Danny: I'm ready.

Interviewer Hello you're live. Please tell us who you are. Danny is ready to answer your question.

Caller #1: This is president Erdogan. Danny you liar. I sent you money to turn the terrorist over to me, Where is he?

Danny: You mean Enes? He's at the practice facility working on his 3 point shot. You never sent the money so you can piss off.

Erdogan: We'll invade Greece!

Danny: What a scumbag.

Caller #2 This is John Hammond, Orlando Magic GM. Danny we need to talk.

Danny: About?

Hammond : Fultz you sonofabitch. We had to rush him to the hospital and pump out his stomach. They found Chipotle. He's been carrying it around since you took him to lunch over two years ago. The Gastrologist has confirmed that it is affecting his shooting.

Danny: Just goes to show that you are what you eat.

Interviewer: Hello caller, your next.

Caller #3 Hi this is Buckwheat. I want to speak to the manager. I forbid that my image, or name or likeness be used by your restaurant to enhance your so-called Italian menu!

Danny: "Otay"

Caller # 4. John Hammond again.

Danny: Call the Sixers

Caller #5 This is Ralph from RYAO, are you ready to get pick up?

Danny: it's for you.

Caller # 6 This is Vladimir Putin, Мы заставили всех ненавидеть Селтикс. (translation: We got everyone to hate the Celtics.)

Danny: Отвали fu.k off

Waiter: Just let me know when you are ready.

Interviewer: I got to go to the bathroom. Is it okay if I go to the bathroom?

Danny: if you got to go you got to go!

by **bobheckler** Mon Dec 30, 2019 2:38 pm

Gold.

by **dbrown4** Mon Dec 30, 2019 3:41 pm

Priceless! Thanks, dboss!

db

by **bobheckler** Mon Dec 30, 2019 3:43 pm

Loved the Godfather reference at the end.

bob

.

by **dboss** Mon Dec 30, 2019 4:33 pm

bobheckler wrote:Loved the Godfather reference at the end.

bob

.

ah you picked that one up!

Instead of coming out of the bathroom and blasting away the interviewer left and Danny finally had to pick up the bill.

by **cowens/oldschool** Mon Dec 30, 2019 4:54 pm

Lmao great stuff!!

by **dboss** Mon Dec 30, 2019 4:57 pm

cowens/oldschool wrote:Lmao great stuff!!

Nothing like a good laugh my friend!

by **bobc33** Mon Dec 30, 2019 5:29 pm

Good stuff dboss!

The Tacko and Tremont bit got me thinking........ Two seconds left in the game and Celtics are down by one. Brad has Tacko set up a foot or so from the backboard, Tremont stands on his shoulders with one hand on the backboard to steady himself and receives the inbound pass and throws it down for the win!

Can you picture Brad doing this?

by **dboss** Mon Dec 30, 2019 5:51 pm

bobc33 wrote:Good stuff dboss!

The Tacko and Tremont bit got me thinking........ Two seconds left in the game and Celtics are down by one. Brad has Tacko set up a foot or so from the backboard, Tremont stands on his shoulders with one hand on the backboard to steady himself and receives the inbound pass and throws it down for the win!

Can you picture Brad doing this?

In my perversion I can imagine almost anything.

What made me think about this was the video of Waters jumping into Tacko's arms. Now consider 2 seconds left in the game and Boston up big. Tremont climbs on Tacko and gets the pass at the rim and crams it.

Of course it is absurd as is the notion that Kyrie is walking across the Brooklyn Bridge backwards.

Know this, there is factual events taking place and the satirical elements is only meant to have a good laugh or to highlight the hypocrisy.

My interviews with Danny are only meant to give the forum a good laugh. I mix in politics and hypocrisy into the game we love and mostly into our Boston Celtics, whom we love.

Sometimes we just need to have some fun. Sometime we just need a good laugh.

by **wideclyde** Mon Dec 30, 2019 8:59 pm

Great post, dboss!

by **NYCelt** Mon Dec 30, 2019 9:39 pm

dboss,

I've been waiting for one of these!

Outstanding.

I'm still trying to picture Michael Corleone walking out on the check.

"I'm glad LSU beat the crap out of Oklahoma." Tremont and Danny must both be happy then!

Can't wait 'til the next interview.

Regards

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