Covid-19 Interview With Danny Ainge

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Covid-19 Interview With Danny Ainge Empty Covid-19 Interview With Danny Ainge

Post by dboss Sun Mar 29, 2020 8:29 pm

Danny Ainge has agreed to a brief meeting to discuss the Coronavirus and its' impact on the Celtics in particular and the NBA in general.


Due to social distancing protocols, our interview will be conducted on the Boston Commons and we have erected a plexi glass partition to separate us from Danny and Danny from us.


Here he comes... he's walking towards us at the quick step and my goodness he is wearing a hazmat suit including an SCBA apparatus for breathing.  He actually looks quite dashing because the entire outfit is in Kelly Green with white trim.


Interviewer:  Danny you look marvelous.  Where on earth did you find your PPE?


Danny:  I had to order on eBay.  That is a great platform for finding a needle in the bush.  The seller is an old friend of mine Félix Tshisekedi.  In case you do not know him, he is the president of the Republic of The Congo.  He took over the country on January 25.

Interviewer:  Interesting.


Danny:  I lucked out he had some unused hazmat suits that were left over from the Ebola pandemic.  I was able to get it dirt cheap.


Interviewer:  How much did it run.


Danny:  I unloaded the snowplow.  That's right and I also gave up a protected (picks 30-60) 2nd rounder in 2025.  It was a great deal because he paid for shipping.


Interviewer:  I know we usually have something to eat and I think we could have some sandwiches delivered.


Danny:  Don't worry about that.  I'm not hungry.


Interviewer.  Okay how about a cold beer.  I got a 12 pack of Corona Lights in the cooler.


Danny:  No thanks.  Rumor has it that Coronas caused the virus.


Interviewer:  Good thing for the plexi-glass cause I'm sucking em down.


Interviewer:  So Danny what happened to Marcus Smart?  He got the Rona right?  What happened?  Why Marcus.


Danny:  Marcus tested positive for Covid-19.  He definitely caught it from Rudy.  Before the March 6 game with Utah Rudy was touching him and rubbing against him and then during the game if you watch the film closely you will see that Rudy glued himself to Marcus.  They became one person.  I love Marcus.  He's great isn't he?


Interviewer:  So Rudy was the spreader I guess.


Danny:  That's a positive.  And apparently his deviant behavior runs in the family. 
 
Interviewer:  How's that?


Danny:  He has a cousin right here in Boston that works for the T. He's a maintenance worker.  They asked him to wipe down some trains.  Unfortunately he ran out of those anti-bacterial anti-virus wipes and decided to lick his way around the train.
 
Interviewer:  I heard about that.


Danny:  Yeah when they asked him about it he claims the CDC never mentioned anything about licking.


Interviewer:  Celtics fans miss watching their team.  It is a real tough patch for all of us.  We've been watching reruns of past games.


Danny:  We hope this thing will end sooner rather than later.


Interviewer:  Any ideas of when we can expect a resumption of games?  Will there be a playoffs?


Danny:  Right now it is hard to say.  We have discussed the possibility of playing simulated games or letting our best gamers use Playstation to play against other teams.  That's pretty realistic.  Jayson Tatum is our top gamer so he could be our go to guy.

Interviewer:  I see.

Danny:  Another possibility is to  require all players to wear PPE's during games.  That way they will not pass the virus around.  Fans will also need to purchase hazmat suits so that they can attend the games. I think we can work around the Rona.  We can require 6 seats to separate them.  We will need the Army Corp of Engineers to come in and add more seats.

Interviewer:  Most fans cannot buy hazmat suits.  Does your Congo guy have more to sell?

Danny:  I know he has some used ones.  You can probably sterilize them and you should be good to go.

Interviewer:  The draft is coming up.  Have you been working on that.

Danny: Of course.  However we cannot bring guys in for interviews and workouts.  Right now we are watching a lot of film and talking to a lot of coaches.   We may be able to get some guys up here and they can head out into the community and maybe play some pickup basketball.

Interviewer:  I heard that the mayor has asked people to avoid being around too many people.  Seems like basketball is on the do not play list.

Danny:  Yea that is true but if they are wearing PPE stuff and spreading the floor they should be fine.  We are looking for floor spreaders so this actually is a good time to see who can do that.

Interviewer:  I read where James Dolan the Knicks owner has caught the Rona.

Danny :  My sources indicate that a large group of Knicks fans gave him the Rona.  They figured if he gets sick it will prevent him from putting Spike Lee in quarantine.  Those Knick fans are ingenious.

Interviewer:  Are you sure you do not want a beer? 

Danny:  I really would like one but I would have to remove my self-contained breathing apparatus  (SCBA).  Maybe next time.

Interviewer:  We have a few callers that would like to ask you a few questions.  Do you have time?

Danny:  Just as long as I'm out of here before sunset.

Interviewer:  Damn it.  Here comes the Boston Popo.  They want us to move.  I got Governor Cuomo on the line he  said you keep avoiding him.  Okay Okay we're moving.  Danny can you help me move the plexiglass screen.  Cuomo needs to talk to you.

Danny Okay, I'll grab this end.

Interviewer:  Danny, Cuomo wants to know what happened to the rest of the ventilators he asked for.  He said he needs 30,000 to meet the coming surge.

Danny:  This is outside of my job description but I'll text him my Congo contact.  Ask him why he needs 30,000.

Interviewer.  Cuomo said he expects 1 in 20 Rona infections in Metro NYC.

Danny: And?

Interviewer.  He said that's 1,000,000 infections and 3% will be on oxygen.  That's 30,000.

Danny:  Look, tell him to call the Congo guy.

Interviewer.  Hello your on the line.  Who's calling?

Caller:  This is Pastor Tony Spell.  I'm the pastor for my Life Tabernacle Church in Baton Rouge.  We aint gonna close our doors to God's children.  We're essential!  We need Tides.

Danny:  Tell him he should call the government and see if his church qualifies for some bailout money.

Interviewer:  Hello your live.  Do you have a question for Danny.

Caller:  I wish to remain anonymous.  I am President, CEO,  CFO, COO and under Secretary for Citizens For Free Toilet Paper.  This shit is a travesty.  I went to the store and hoards of people were liberating all the Toilet Paper.  They snatched single rolls, double rolls, single ply, family size, any and all.  I represent a group of concerned citizens that suffer from acute industrial strength diarrhea.  We need the government to step up and send us rolls and rolls and rolls of toilet paper.  I ask all the shitless politicians to help.

Danny:  Tell him to call the Congo guy.

Interviewer.  Well Danny, the Suns going down.  Can I get that Congo guy's number?

Danny:  What guy?  What number?
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Post by NYCelt Sun Mar 29, 2020 9:43 pm

dboss,

Most timely Danny interview yet!

And this... "if they are wearing PPE stuff and spreading the floor they should be fine.  We are looking for floor spreaders so this actually is a good time to see who can do that."

There's the key to resuming play!

Danny could get another Exec Of The Year, and you'll be the guy that uncovered the plan.

On another note from your interview, I was thinking of switching to Dos Equis.

Regards
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Post by dboss Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:16 pm

NYCelt

I want to point out a couple of things.  

First there is really nothing funny about this interview although I guess one could laugh.  It is in fact a dark satire.  

The hazmat references, the Congo and the Ebola virus was meant to shed light on the need for our healthcare workers to be protected and in fact have available a maximum level of protection when in direct contact with Covid patients.  Too many are getting infected and dying because the level of protection is insufficient.  They probably need to be wearing Hazmat suits and SCBA.  They should not be breathing in the air inside those ICU rooms.  Clearly the N95 masks are not enough.

The social distancing message seems to be working better but it still has not penetrated into the minds of a lot of people.  Basketball (the reason why this forum exists) is not an activity that people should engage unless they are alone.  

As we prognosticate about when or if the NBA season will resume, we search for ways to keep us connected to the game we love.  

It seems at times that a thin line separates civility from barbarianism, thus the extreme toilet paper reference.  I went to the store two weeks ago to pick up some tissue paper.  There was a dozen or so packages on the shelf.  I took one pack and went to the checkout counter and then a guy comes to the checkout line after having loaded up his cart with all the remaining tissue paper in the store. 

I do not know if you heard about this but recently some guy riding the Orange line in Boston was licking the poles inside the train which had to be taken out of service.  I really do not understand this level of stupidity.  

Everybody stay safe and remain focused on doing all the things to make that happen.
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Post by NYCelt Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:28 pm

dboss,

Dark satire or not, I find this to have humor when we look at the situation.

I obviously missed how it was intended, but I find the mental picture of players spacing the floor in hazmat suits points out the sheer folly in this whole thing. That, to me, is a hilarious image. I think it's a laugh that helps alleviate the stress everyone is under. Even in the darkest hours, we need our sense of humor.

If we all just pay attention to the proven facts, we go a long way toward getting past this. Too much over-hyped drama right now. A lot passing for fact that's assumption. I like a little levity where I can find it.

Regards
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Post by dboss Tue Mar 31, 2020 3:09 pm

NYCelt

I see your point and have no good reason to disagree.  

As we pass through this tunnel of uncertainty we will emerge stronger.

A vaccine will be developed and probably a serum to help those that are unfortunate enough to catch the virus. 

In the meantime we all just need to apply what we have learned to keep us safe.

It is good to keep things in perspective as you have done.
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Post by RosalieTCeltics Tue Mar 31, 2020 10:57 pm

I got a chuckle out of it. In these times of such high anxiety we have to look at certain things and add some humor. Relax, I am with you when you point out some of the craziness out there that goes well beyond reality as we know it.
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Post by dboss Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:02 am

I know two people that are on ventilators.

KJ told me that they furloughed some workers at his job yesterday.

I started binge watching Downton Abbey again.

They stopped picking up my baged grass clippings.

I made a lemon cake yesterday with...drum roll...lemon frosting.  I'm a baker.  I bake.

Some old guy pulled a gun on a grandmother and granddaughter the other day at the post office.  He said they had on masks and he thought they had the virus.

Anybody see the ESPN stuff about the basketball games.  KD is leading.  See gamers.

My wife Bonnie enjoys having me run all the errands.  I asked her if she wanted to go for a ride yesterday.  She said no I have to do my hair.

I asked her if she would help me clean out the garage and she said, I'll think about it.  That was clearly a no answer.

Ho hum.
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Post by dboss Mon Oct 26, 2020 11:04 am

See my new avatar.

In keeping with basketball related subject I introduce to you my new facemask.
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Post by NYCelt Mon Oct 26, 2020 8:32 pm

I like it.

If we have to wear them, we may as well show some style.
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Post by dbrown4 Wed Oct 28, 2020 7:45 am

Comedy and satire have many sides and nuances. My wife is a hard nut to crack when it comes to laughing/comedy, etc. She will even go as far to say I'm not funny or I'm not as funny as I think I am. She keeps me in check, that's for sure. My best days with my wife and family now are if I can get them laughing so hard they are wheezing, gasping for air and tearing up. If that occurs, I've done my comedic job for the day.

But she's heard my whole shtick after 7 years together and I am now forced to come up with new material all the time to keep things light around here! Thank God the world provides such rich content from which to pick!

dboss, you are the well intended messenger. You get me with these every time thinking Danny is actually doing these interviews! Some levity given 2020's outstanding performance this year is welcomed but also understood. Comedy is a great stress reliever. And if we knew and could prove that if we laughed a couple times a day and that would add days and weeks to our lives on earth and would cure cancer, we would literally be laughing our asses off!

NYCelt, agreed on the over-hype. This should be ending, ohhh, in about a week IMHBAO.

db
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Post by NYCelt Wed Oct 28, 2020 11:09 am

dbrown4 wrote:Comedy and satire have many sides and nuances.  My wife is a hard nut to crack when it comes to laughing/comedy, etc.  She will even go as far to say I'm not funny or I'm not as funny as I think I am.  She keeps me in check, that's for sure.  My best days with my wife and family now are if I can get them laughing so hard they are wheezing, gasping for air and tearing up.  If that occurs, I've done my comedic job for the day.    

But she's heard my whole shtick after 7 years together and I am now forced to come up with new material all the time to keep things light around here!  Thank God the world provides such rich content from which to pick!  

dboss, you are the well intended messenger.  You get me with these every time thinking Danny is actually doing these interviews!  Some levity given 2020's outstanding performance this year is welcomed but also understood.  Comedy is a great stress reliever.  And if we knew and could prove that if we laughed a couple times a day and that would add days and weeks to our lives on earth and would cure cancer, we would literally be laughing our asses off!

NYCelt, agreed on the over-hype.  This should be ending, ohhh, in about a week IMHBAO.    

db

"She will even go as far to say I'm not funny or I'm not as funny as I think I am."

db,

My wife has been telling me that for 21 years now.

Regards
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Post by dbrown4 Wed Oct 28, 2020 11:51 am

NYCelt,

Good. So I'm not the only one! jocolor

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Post by RosalieTCeltics Wed Oct 28, 2020 1:49 pm

This is a sad world we are living in right now. More of my friends living in a cocoon, I have not seen for almost a year. At my age, that is an eternity. Friends I travel with, just talk with, are not going out and not letting in. I find myself home three quarters of the week, leaving only to do the basics. I thank the good Lord that my Mom is not around now to live thru this. She was born in 1920 and lived through enough. 9/11 threw her for a loop. So if she were here she would be 100 and shaking her head wondering what more she would live through.

I appreciate your caring, dboss, you are a kind man with a good heart. At our age, it is scary to think that this is how we have to live this part of our lives, when we should be enjoying life, too afraid to move.

I have a brother who is totally opposite from myself, and at times I have to block out his foolish dangerous thinking, so at least you are caring. Stay safe my friend, you are appreciated here and I am sure your family appreciates you more than we could imagine
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Post by dboss Wed Oct 28, 2020 2:48 pm

Rosalie

My wife and I are so disappointed that our annual pilgrimage to Boston was cancelled because of the virus and our decision to not take the risk. We see pictures (lots of them) of our new grandson Allister but long for a trip up there.

And here is some news. KJ and his wife Belinda are pregnant. My wife's comment, "At least they will be close by" which is an understatement because they live like 3 miles from us.

I think I could use a new tax deduction. Call it the grandfather deduction to account for Grandkids. This will make 10 grandchildren.

I think about you and all of my board members and I send out positive energy to each of you. We are going to get through this while staying above ground!





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Post by RosalieTCeltics Wed Oct 28, 2020 6:43 pm

Congratulations!!! I cannot even get my son to get married!!! He is such a good kid, has had the same girlfriend for quite a while now, so he is my only hope. My daughter, she is a career girl, always looking for something new to learn.

We both are fine, tell KJ I said congratulations, he is such a good kid.

Keep the faith my friend, this too shall pass at some point and you will be able to take that trip. The way the numbers are going up here, this is the last place you would want to be. Staying healthy is a job these days. In another month I will go absolutely stir crazy, have made the decision that I will not be spending Christmas with my sisters, first time ever. But the families are so big, there are too many of us, that I am a little afraid. So, I pray that the NBA makes a decision to put something on on Christmas Day to sit and watch. It will be a lonely. Christmas.

Be well, take care, and be careful.
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