Reposting some interviews

by **dboss** Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:42 pm

Since I have been watching old games I thought what the hell how about seeing some of my old interviews. The context and content covers at least 10 years.

Here is one with Ron Artest dated December 26, 2009. I am going to post them in chronological order one after another.

Interview with Ron Artest

by dboss on Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:09 pm

Ron Artest Update

We were able to get a transcript of an interview with Ron Artest as he was leaving the UCLA Medical Center.

Reporter: So Ron how are you feeling?

Ron: Well we really did not play well today. The Cavs took it to us. Lebron is so BIG and strong!

Reporter: I was asking you about your injuries. I see your head is bandaged. What happened?

Ron: Oh that’s nothing. I tripped over a box and lost my balance. I fell down the stairs and hit my head. I have a few stitches and they gave me a hot water bottle for my back.

Reporter: You hurt your back too?

Ron: Yeah it was a pretty acrobatic plunge.

Reporter: Are you aware that other stairs have come out and indicated that you have fallin down them as well?

Ron: I have already made a statement on my website that I am a bit clumsy and I apologize to my friends, family and my teammates and to all of my loyal fans.

Reporter: So tell us again how exactly did this happen. Where was the box in relation to the stairs?

Ron: I did not put the box there. It was just there. I saw the box and tried to avoid charging into it but it did not move. So I tried to get over it and my foot got caught and I fell down the stairs. I’m getting rid of all of the stairs in my house to make sure this does not happen again

Reporter: There was also a rumor that you were seen consuming a bottle of yak on the way home from the game. Ron I’m not accusing you of anything but to some people, alcohol may have been a factor.

Ron: I have not had a drink since halftime of the Golden State game. Definitely not. Definitely not.

Reporter: Ok so will you be playing tonight?

Ron: No Phil said that if I don’t play tonight the refs may give us a break. I’ll do anything to help my team win.

dboss
Posts : 12819
Join date : 2009-11-01
Age : 70

by **dboss** Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:46 pm

Interview With Doc Rivers

by dboss on Fri Feb 12, 2010 5:04 pm

We caught up with Dr Rivers in Orlando where he was taking his allstar break

Interviewer: Doc, the teams been struggling to close out games. You have a full compliment of players. What going on?

Doc: Like the Isley Brothers said in their song “I turned you on but I can’t turn you off”

Interviewer: What exactly does that mean? The Celtics are not sharing drugs with other teams are they. Are they really turning them on? Is there any left cause that shit must be good?

Doc: Very funny! What I meant was that we let teams back into games and once we do that it is near impossible to shut them down again.

Interviewer: I want to ask you about the status of several players. How is KG feeling? He really seems to be limping all over the court. He has been doing a pretty good imitation of Grand Pappi Amos. And the real McCoys!

Doc: Well I might as well tell you the truth about KG. Several months ago a decision was made to replace his leg with a prosthetic one. That’s why he appears so gimpy. He only has one leg. His real leg is still in rehab and we expect it to arrive around the playoffs. Considering the leg substitution you have to admit that he is playing pretty damn good.

Interviewer: What about Paul Pierce. First it was the knee and now he has the high ankle sprain. What’s the story with him? He looked tired against the Hornets.

Doc: He’s great isn’t he? Paul was in the game but decided to conserve his energy for the allstar game and the 3 point shooting contest. That’s where his focus is right now and we can’t wait to see how he does.

Interviewer: What about Ray Allen. He missed the game with back spasm. Was this a sudden occurrence because there was no indication that he was having any problems?

Doc: Ray’s fine. With all the talk about him being traded he figure if he faked an injury no one would want him and we would be stuck with him. Ray’s got a really high basketball IQ so he made a rare sympathy move that no one expected. You gotta love em!

Interviewer: Continuing on, what about the rumor regarding Big baby? Opps I’m sorry, I mean Uno Uno?

Doc: Uno Uno, I mean Glen…I mean baby is fine. He is playing well and the thumb sucking proves that his thumb is ok. We like baby and have no intentions to trade him unless we can make a good deal for a PG like the kid DJ Augustin. Of course no one from our organization has spoken to the Bobcats about any trades. It’s just another internet rumor.

Interviewer: Some analysts have suggested that the problem with the Celtics is one of age. You have too many players that can no longer bring it every night. How would you respond to that assertion?

Doc: I’m really not sure how old our players are. I haven’t seen any birth cetificates. Have you? I think that unless you can prove that they are really that old then it is really a dumb question to ask.

Interviewer: Sorry. So you do not think that age is a factor?

Doc: Well I’m well over 40 and I can still get out of bed in the morning and do other things that require physical activity. Based on that I do not see how age could be considered a factor.

Interviewer: So after the break is over what type of improvements are you looking for in the team?

Doc: Everything! One of the players came to me and said we are better than the YMCA team and I said no you’re not! You are not better than the YMCA team because you have not been able to beat them all year.

Interviewer: If it is not age then is the problem psychological? Are they struggling from the neck up?

Doc: Hell no we regularly bring the guys in for their psych evaluations and none of them are crazy with the exception of Rasheed Wallace. But like I said before Rasheed is Rasheed. I don’t want to change him. Every team needs a nut case.

Interviewer: Speaking of Rasheed, have you talked with him about shooting 3 pointers.

Doc: No I have talked to the entire team about 3 pointers. It’s part of our game and I figure that we just need to shoot more of them so that we have the odds in our favor of maybe having one or two more actually go in.

Doc” My wife is waiting for me.

Interviewer: Just one more question Doc. If you could tell Celtics fans one thing to help them feel more at ease with the struggles that the team has been going through, what would that be?

Doc: “That’s All Folks”

by **dboss** Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:48 pm

Interview With David Stern

by dboss on Tue Oct 25, 2011 6:18 am

We caught up with David Stern as he was leaving a restaurant in LA. He was reluctant to speak with us but we managed to get some insight from him on the current NBA labor impasse.

Interviewer: Can you tell us what happens next? Talks have broken off. What is the position of the owners.

Stern: I hate to be the bearer of bad news but if we cannot come to an agreement by 3 PM today, I am afraid that the NBA will not be playing any games until 2021. And it could be even longer than that…right up until the time that the Social Security trust fund runs out of money.

Interviewer: Is there no light at the end of the tunnel? The players want to play and have agreed to give back 4% points on the BRI pool of money.

Stern: We need nothing less than a 50/50 split and if this thing goes on much longer we will probably ask for a 55/45 split owners to players because the owners have a right to make a profit …it’s their business.

Interviewer: Many questions have been raised about the accounting methods utilize by the owners that has, in several cases, resulted in significant losses. Would you care to comment on that?

Stern: not really.

Interviewer: Do you think that more NBA players will opt to play overseas during the strike.

Stern: That was something we did not expect to see. My vision of Global basketball did not contemplate competition from them Euros. But most of the guys going over there are scrubs who are willing to make a few hundred thousand dollars.

Interviewer: What about the marquee players? They seem to be sitting pretty during the lockout.

Stern: Yea..that’s a problem…fat heads like…and I am not going to mention any names…KG should leave the negotiations to the professionals. Things can get really testy when players show up at these meetings and all they want to do is spit in your face.

Interviewer: So if the players union hits you up before 3 PM and agree with a 50/50 split can we get the season started?

Stern: Absolutely! I think our request is reasonable. The players can easily give up one of their diamond stud earrings. We must have a 50/50 split!

dboss

by **dboss** Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:49 pm

Interview with danny ainge and doc rivers

by dboss on Thu May 16, 2013 7:05 pm

Hello Celtics fans. I'm here at the Country Club Of Orlando and I gotta tell ya...this is one nice place...wow..Their mission statement speaks for itself.

"Our Mission is to provide superior enjoyment of all amenities while ensuring the club’s history of home, family, traditions and heritage remain the foundation of our success."

I am here today to conduct a rare interview with Celtics coach Glenn 'papa doc' Rivers and the master of all basketball deals, Danny Guru Ainge. While we have heard a few sounds bites from them this will be the first in depth interview. We have been able to gather a list of questions presented by Celtics fans and this is a opportunity to see what these guys have to say.

Doc is just finishing a up his first round of golf and Danny just ran over one of the ground keepers with his golf cart. gotta love that Danny...he is one competitive son-of-a-bitch...get in his way and he'll run your ass over..

The best thing about this interview is that i get to eat for free and on danny's dime. How about that for a nice perk. I already know what to order...the rare lamb and farber beans just like silence of the lambs.

Oh..here they come..

Interviewer: Hi danny, hi doc how's it going?

Doc: Well I tripled bogeyed the last 3 holes and as usual it was danny's fault. he's out there popping wheelies in a golf cart and has already turned a few people into road kill.

Interviewer: I want to thank you guys for giving our fans a chance to ask you some questions about the Celtics.

Danny: Ask away

Interviewer: Danny the season ended poorly. In a recent interview you stated that the Celtics are more than one player away from being a contender.

Danny: That's right..after watching this season unfold and the playoff run we evaluated everything and we know that some changes are going to be needed. we are faced with cap issues which makes it almost impossible to make big moves. Doc is coming back for the another year so we just need to get the right pieces in place to be competitive.

Interviewer: When exactly did you realize that changes needed to be made?

Danny: My first inclination came with a few minutes left in game 6 of the knicks series. I looked up at the scoreboard and it said the Knicks had more points than we did and I said yep we are going to lose .

Interviewer: Doc here is a questions from a fan. "Why did you Play Bass at center when KG went out the game. Would Randolph given us a better matchup with their bigs."

Doc: first off..I am barley acquainted with the guy Randolph that you mention. I don't recall him being on the roster...danny ?

Danny: yeah we got him at a discount price from China. They were having a buy one get two free deal over at the Walmarts so we stocked up on him, DJ and Williams. I love China. They actually had williamses over at macys but walmart sold him for less.

Interviewer; So doc the name Randolph does not ring a bell?

Doc: His name does sound familiar but for some reason I can't recall him playing in any games. Anyways playing bass was designed to throw off the other team. As you know i am a big believer in small ball and Bass I think is the perfect small ball center. It was great watching him and yelling at him from the sidelines. Hey bass push him out. no hands up..push him out some more. .. go for the block. It was so funny. When Chandler had the ball in the post you couldn't even see bass...he he he

Doc: Small ball has definitely evolved and I can envision a time when we can possible get even smaller.

Interviewer How Small?

Doc: I'm thinking between 1 MM and infinity. Look, if the other team cannot see us how are they going to stop us from scoring? On defense the other team will not even know who stole the ball from them. It's a great concept and we just need players that can think small, look small and ultimately disappear.

Interviewer: Danny with the upcoming draft on the horizons any thoughts to share with us Celtics fans?

Danny: Well we got the 16th pick and we will be bringing in prospects before the draft.

Interviewer: Any particular teams needs that you have identified.

Danny: Well we need another big and there are a few out there that i think can help right away.

Interviewer: Any names?

Danny: I don't want to mention any names in case other teams are listening in. I value draft picks.

Interviewer: There was a report out there around the February trading deadline that Paul Pierce could be traded to the Hawks for power forward Josh Smith. The report said that you nixed the trade because the Hawks wanted our first round pick this year. Any truth to that rumor.

Danny: I am always having discussions with other teams but we never made the deal. We needed the pick, so that next year we can send the pick up to the D-league.

Interviewer: Last year's picks Sullinger and Melo were first rounders. Sullinger had back sugery and Fab saw very few minutes. What is your evaluation of their first season.

Danny: I'll let doc answer that one.

Doc: Sully is an old school basketball player and we liked what he brings to the court. We wanted to use him at center but his back went out. Fab is still a kid and is really goofy. Everyone says that he can play but I am not convinced.

Interviewer: tell us about the thought process that went into drafting Sulllinger since it was well known that he had a bad back

Doc: we talked to one of the Doctors and he assured us that we could maintain Sully. We brought in a season supply of pain killers but then the back got worse because bad backs are bad backs. We tried to prop him up in a stand up straight device during timeouts and halftime but some stupid fan broke it when he ran into it...he was trying to catch up with a vendor that was selling beer for $5.00.

Interviewer: let's talk a little bit about Paul Pierce's future with the Celtics. Danny. doc what's going on?

Danny: I have always told the players that I will do what is best for the team. I think Paul can still help us. I thought he played well in the playoffs except for the turnovers, poor defense and inability to make a basket. He's our captain. But i still will do what is best for the team. We have to look at salary and everything so no decisions have been made yet.

Interviewer: many fans were surprised that he looked so clumsy and basically aged. Was he hurt or is this just what happens to players when they get old.

Doc: Funny...I mentioned to Danny that Paul's been taking a few shots of scotch before each game and I had a bet that he would fall at least 4 times a game when he tried his patented moves. It was so funny...he looked drunk out there. i love Paul..he's great and after the series I said I love you Paul.

Interviewer: doc what happened to Courtney Lee? All of a sudden he was not getting any minutes?

Doc: Courtney lost his confidence. I know how to make someone lose their confidence. All you have to do is use the yoyo master mind trick on them. it worked to perfection but the final straw was when I sat Lee down and stuck the crack head in the game.

Interviewer: Who's the crack head?

Doc: Jordan Crawford

Interviewer: Jordan Crawford is on crack?

Doc: Well not really..i don't know he hasn't told me anything. but I do know that he has a crack in his head which makes him run around all over the place . I think crack head will also evolve into a new position,,,sorta like a 6th man. you watch in a few years you're going to see the crack head of the year award and if they had that award this year, Crawford would have won it hands down.

Interviewer: Danny one last question before we break for lunch. Have you and doc watched any of the other teams in the playoffs ? any observations?

Danny: I really like what Nat Robinson did for the Bulls and Tony Allen plays defense just like he did when he was with us.

Doc: I haven't watched any games. I really like the way Lebron is playing. He looks great.

Interviewer: Well folks that is it ..now it is time to eat some rare lamb.

dboss

by **dboss** Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:50 pm

Interview With The Source

by dboss on Fri Dec 20, 2013 6:32 pm

Interviewer: Today we are having a meeting with the Source to discuss recent and ongoing rumors involving the Celtics. Here it comes now. It is wearing a black hoodie with dark glasses and a baseball cap with the Yakult Swallows insignia. Real Clandestine…can’t even see its’ face. I guess you could say that it is a faceless source no doubt. Time for us to get to the bottom of this mess. This should be interesting.

Interviewer: Source…thanks for coming. What about the Rondo rumor?

Source: There is no doubt about it. The Celtics are shopping Rajon Rondo. Word on the street is that Boston is looking for more 1st round draft picks or a center taller than 6’ 7”. The move is part of their tanking strategy as widely reported by all the reput-able media giants.

Interviewer: And where did you get this information?

Source: Well I cannot reveal the source but trust me it is gonna happen tomorrow at 3 PM.

Interviewer: The Celtics have flatly denied any intension to trade Rajon Rondo so who’s telling the truth here?

Source: Rajon had another fist fight with Doc Rivers last week and Doc is pretty fed up and wants him gone. Sacramento is ready to make the deal now.

Interviewer: Ah…you do know that Doc is no longer coaching the Celtics so this rumor does not seem to be at all possible unless we are all living in the Twilight Zone

Source: Trust me! This will happened and Rondo will definitely be traded.

Interview: So tell me Source who is the real source of this rumor?

Source: I read about it on a blog. Anything on the internet must be true….everybody knows that.

Interviewer: Well this one cannot be true because Doc Rivers coaches the Clippers and Rajon Rondo can barely walk let alone get into a fist fight!

Source: When it happens remember that I told you so.

Interviewer: Let’s go on to another rumor that has spread like the plague. You said last week that Jeff Green was going to be traded for Tim Huskinson.

Source: That’s right..

Interviewer: Who the hell is Tim Huskinson?

Source: Well I cannot reveal my source but my source said that Tim is one helluva basketball player and the Celtics are looking to have him on the roster by next year. Basically this will be a premature trade involving a future unnamed asset trading option.

Interviewer: I see…And who is the other trading partner?

Source: Five teams have shown an interest and right now the Celtics look to be the front runners because they have more draft picks.

Interviewer: You lost me there…Do you have any type of confirmation about this from the Celtics?

Source: Well my source has a cousin whose brother knows someone who knows a guy that used to know one of the Celtics dancers. That’s pretty close to the source wouldn’t ya say?

Interviewer: Sorry. I see no connection.. Let me ask you one more question. It seems that a lot of rumors have been debunked as false yet these rumors get fans in a frenzy and even impact some of the players whose names are being tossed about. With you being a source, albeit a self-proclaimed source, do you feel responsible for spreading false information ?

Source: I‘m sorry I cannot answer that question until I check with my source.

Interviewer: Bonjour

dboss

by **dboss** Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:51 pm

Re: New Interview With Danny from Salt Lake City

by dboss on Mon Feb 24, 2014 6:04 pm

You will not believe this but Danny Ainge will be sitting down with me in a few minutes for an in depth interview. I’m at Faustina’s, a real nice restaurant. Danny’s made the trip out to Salt Lake City to be with the team on their final leg of their road trip and also he is visiting friends and family.

Here he comes now wearing a Toronto Blue Jays baseball cap..ha

Interviewer: Danny thanks for coming over. Can I get something for you?

Danny: Yea, I’ll have a Glutenator.

Interviewer: What’s that?

Danny: Oh it’s a premium beer.

Interviewer: Hey waiter could you bring me a Bud light and a Gluten for Danny.. Thanks

Interviewer: Well Danny the Celts have lost twice as many games as they have won. The trade deadline has come and gone and the fans out there wanna know what the heck is going on.

Danny: As you know I have always stated that I am always looking to improve the team. If the right deal can be made then we will make trades. There really was not anything out there that caught our eye.

Interviewer: There was a lot of talk about Rondo and Green and Bass being moved. How serious were those talks and how close did you come to making a trade?

Danny: I do not remember talking about any of these players. Oh.. I used to be in the olive oil business but that was a long time ago. The media kept asking me questions if Rajon Rondo did this and if Rajon Rondo did that so I said …yea sure…But it was all lies....everything. I have my own family and these guys are part of my family.

Interviewer: Well one report said you wanted 2 first round picks just to have a conversation with another team that may be interested in Rondo. Is that what happened?

Danny: Can I order another Glutenator?

Interviewer: Sure…Waiter… Can we get another round.

Interviewer: So was a trade for Rondo on the table?

Danny: no

Interviewer: What about bass? His name lit up a few blogs

Danny: nope

Interviewer: and Jeff?

Danny: absolutely not. These media types are horrible people. They like to speculate about a lot of things but none of it is true. If a deal came along that would make the team better I would have made it

Interviewer: So let’s talk about another hotly contested subject….Stanking. Everyone is saying that the Celtics are stanking this year along with philly and the Bucks. At what point did you decide to stank the team?

Danny: I would not describe our situation as stanking. I clearly stated at the beginning of the year that we were not looking to win. Our main focus was about developing some of the young players. And I think we have done that. Guys like Kelly and Jared have really shown a lot of improvement. We do not have short term plans for this team. CJ is another guy that we like.

We have been looking to reduce our payroll and at the same time develop players and acquire draft picks. We have had a lot of injuries that has made it very difficult to develop chemistry. No one likes to lose and that’s why we expect our guys to come out and play hard every night.

Interviewer: Well Danny there does not seem to be any effort put forth in strengthening the weakest position on the court. Where’s the center?

Danny: We got Sully and Vitor plus Humphries plays some 5 for us and even Kelly is starting to play better. You know he is a 7 footer.

Interviewer: Danny none of those guys have been very good this year. They are fill ins. Is there a reason why you did not try to add a veteran Center this year. A guy like Jason Collins comes to mind. He played for the team last year and would have probably signed for a vet minimum contract. Do you see where I am going with this? Fans just did not see an effort to add a center and every night the Celts are being beaten senseless in the paint.

Danny: Well we were in love with Jaysin Collins…I mean we really liked him but as you know I am a more man and we are prohibited from eating Cherrios, Frosted Flakes and Fruit Loops in particular. We tried to contact Jaysin once he came out but he must have stayed out cause he did not go back in.

Interviewer: Yea.. he just signed with the Nets. The Celtics probably could have used him.

Danny: Yea well like I said, he was out there and nowhere to be found.

Interviewer: So what can Celtics fans expect from this team the rest of the way?

Danny: Brad has those guys Playing hard. Brad has done a great job for us and we are really lucky to have him. I think the players like playing for him and that proves he is a great coach.

Interviewer: Okay and so where do you see the team ending up this year?

Danny: You know one of the things that I forgot to mention is that we are not going to take a chance with Avery. You know he tweaked the ankle again. The same ankle that he tweaked before so we are going to make sure it is all healed up before he returns.

Interviewer: Wins and Losses. Where do ya think we’ll be?

Danny: Like I said we are not trying to win games or expect to win games. We are just trying to get better every game. And so we just need to let this play out and at the end of the year we’ll sit down and see what needs to be done to get this team back to winning.

Interviewer: So is it safe to say that the Celts are not stanking? Just going through a transition period?

Danny: The Boston Celtics do not stank! But sometimes too much bullshit leaves a noticeable brown sticky odor.

Interview: Ok so even though you are not stanking the Celts are now the 4th worse team in the league. So they seem to be stanking with no encouragement from you. If you drafted that high there may be a pretty good player available who could help get rid of the stench!

Danny: This draft has some talent but there is no franchise stench killing player like a Lebron James or Kevin Durant available.

Interviewer: So who are some of the players that you have a nose for.

Danny: I do not want to get into that now until after we have had a chance to sniff our way through our evaluations. The lottery still has to happen right?

Interviewer: Thanks Danny I am sure the fans appreciate your sense of candor. Can I get you another round?

Danny: No thanks…just like the fans I have had enough.

dboss

dboss
Posts : 12824
Join date : 2009-11-01
Age : 70

by **dboss** Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:52 pm

Interview With Danny Ainge Is Coming

by dboss on Wed Jul 22, 2015 2:52 pm

I am in the process of gathering questions from our board members. Our last interview was back in February in the midst of of the historical snowfall.

For quick reference below is a copy of that interview,

Please get those questions to me as Danny has a lot of splanin to do.

Danny will be heading over here for an interview shortly. We were scheduled to meet in the studio but due to all the snow he agreed to come over to the house and sit with us in the garage. We are going to have a different format. Usually I just ask him questions but this time we will have questions that were sent to us from Celtics fans from all over the world.

I can see Danny’s vehicle coming up the street now.

You will not believe it…he is actually driving a dump truck with a snow plow attached to the front. Opps …he just hit two cars but nobody saw him so he should be fine.

Danny…Danny just do a back flip over the snow bank. You’ll be fine…… There ya go..

He’s stepping into the garage now. My garage door won’t close..must be the inclement weather.

Hi Danny thanks for coming by. Where the heck did you get the truck from?

Danny: It’s one of the perks from the Cleveland/Brooklyn/Dallas/Memphis/Phoenix trade. I was actually holding out for another 2nd rounder but I can play with the truck now. ..so I said yea sure.

Interviewer: First let me apologize for the accommodations. The freakin garage door won’t go down…would you like some Hot chocolate? Get him some hot chocolate.

Danny: Thanks.

Interviewer: I have some questions that were sent in from Celtics fans and of course I have some questions for you as well.
I read that there have been 22 players that have played for the Celtics this season. That’s like almost two teams.

Danny: Yea!

Interviewer: What exactly is going on here. I recall that you were looking to add a few pieces after the Garnett/pierce trade but this has turned into a full blown rebuild.

Danny: I’ll try to clarify what’s happening here. Think of all the activity as a snowball affect. Once the trades began they took on a life of their own. They just seemed to pick up momentum on their own. I had very little to do with these trades they just happened on their own. Yes I started it but I didn’t do it by myself.

Interviewer: Can we revisit the Pierce/Garnett trade?

Danny: Sure.

Interviewer: If you had to do that trade over again today would you still make the same deal?

Danny; Absolutely. We were able to address some long term cap issues and acquire significant assets in players and draft picks. We feel like we are in a much better position to rebuild for the future.

Interviewer: And what about the Rondo and Jeff Green trades?

Danny: It was phase 2 of the process. Rondo had to go not because of the money but once Brad was hired we really were not looking for a ball hogging PG that cannot shoot. We also had some concerns over his durability. Rondo just doesn’t fit into brad’s offensive system. And as you may have read, he is already making an ass out of himself in Dallas. Look I really loved Rondo’s game but it was time to move on and I hope fans understand that. I hope fans understand that it is my job to position this team for the future and that means everybody gets traded.

Interviewer: And what about Jeff?

Danny: Jeff was going to be a free agent this summer and I figured we would lose him anyways so I got what I could get for him. Plus Chowder is turning into a good player. I saw him hit a 3 pointer the other night.

Interviewer: Thanks for your candor now let me read some of the questions that came in from fans.

First question is from Sladia in Bolivia. She writes “Danny I hate you. Why did you trade Rondo? I thought he was sooo cute”

Danny: What was her name?

Interviewer: Here is another international one. There are Celtics fans all over the world.

This question is from North Korean president Kim Jong-un:

Kim: “Mr Danny my friend Dennis has been out of work for many years you capitalist pig. I think you should give him a job. You need rebound. He rebound ball and he dresses really nice. I like that”

Danny: “hey kim go suck an egg”

Interviewer: here is another question. This one is from Isaiah Thomas, former Piston player, former Coach, former TV analyst and former President of the NY Knicks.

Isaiah: Hey Danny. Stop hiding behind your whiteness. If you were black you would be just another GM.

Danny: I hate those f.....g pistons!

Interviewer: Danny the neighbor across the street needs for you to move your snowplow. You’re blocking their driveway.

Danny: tell em to go f---off.

Interviewer: sounds like some of these questions got you into a bad mood. Here’s a nice one from Candace of Allen Tx.

Candace asks: “Danny I am in love with you and since you are a moron would you consider marrying me?”

Interviewer: Danny you gotta move the plow the tow truck is out there.

Danny: Yeah, yeah.. yeah…

Interviewer: I got a question myself to ask you. What’s wrong with Sully?

Danny: I have to tell it like is. Jared is a fat flip. It is not me who gave him that name. His dad Satch has been calling him that since he was a baby. It is a horror story. When he was 3 years old he would wait for the family to fall asleep at night and then make his way down stairs to the kitchen. He would literally eat anything that was not nailed down. All the groceries for the week GONE. I’ve talked with him several times. I told him you’re fat. I told him “you’re below standards” he promised to get in better shape this year but we had to cut his per diem in half because he won’t stop eating.

The stress fracture was not a basketball related injury.

Let me tell you what really happened. Jared loves all you can eat buffets. He told me “A good buffet can be a glorious smorgasbord once one locates the redemptive dish”

He was on one of his daily pigtrips and stopped in at a Boston area all you can eat place and he would not let any of the patrons get to the food. Every time they reached for something he would block them out. He would just slide over and put his butt between the person and the food. Finally the manager of the restaurant had to call the police. He starting crying and then jumping up and down yelling “But I want it…but I want it.”

Anyways that is how he got the stress fracture”

Interviewer: interesting.

Interviewer: This must be international day. Here is another comment. This one is from Abdulah Abdulahstan.

Abdulah: Danny you infidel. You are on our list. We chop off the head next time we see you.

Danny: Good luck Abdulah. Well time to go…looks like another blizzard is on the way.

Interviewer: see you Danny. By the way…do you wanna trade in the Plow?

DBOSS
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dboss
Posts : 12825
Join date : 2009-11-01
Age : 70

by **dboss** Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:55 pm

Interview With Danny Ainge

by dboss on Sat Dec 26, 2015 12:28 pm

For months now we have been trying to secure an interview with Danny. But he has been on the phone trying to make more deals and has not had the time to share his thoughts with us. A lot has happened since the last interview. If you recall Boston was buried by a record breaking snowfall but Danny was able to maneuver through the blizzard thanks to another one of his thought provoking trades. …the Snowplow acquisition.

The weather is remarkably warm for this time of year so we thought it would be a good idea to conduct our interview outside. Welcome to Carson Beach where we have everything set up and are just waiting for Danny to arrive. We pulled the beach chairs out of storage and we have liberated some Corona’s and packed them in ice. We do not need some plastic cooler but decided one of those stainless steel laundry bins would do the trick.

I’ll be damn…I can see Danny making his way over to us a
nd this time he is riding a three wheeler.

Interviewer: Danny you never cease to amaze us. Where on earth did you get the 3 wheeler?

Danny: Oh I got this from Delonte. He needed to supplement his income from his furniture store gig and since I needed to add more depth to my transportation portfolio I thought it was a good deal.

Interviewer: Do you still have the snowplow?

Danny: yeah. It’s parked in the garage but I have every intension of trading it in as soon as I can find a GM to answer the phone. After the playoffs I was on the phone 24/7 trying to unload the plow. I was willing to give up draft picks and players but no one was interested. They wanted too much. Finally I said no you cannot have our 2008 banner.

Interviewer: Danny now that the trading season has begun the rumors are already swirling around. We know you do not like to speculate about trades and other moves but fans all over the planet want to know. We set up a Wi-Fi hotspot switchboard and have callers holding on lines 1-7. Do you mind answering a few questions for them?

Danny: Of course. That’s why I’m here.

Interviewer: Hello you are on line. Please state your name and question.

Caller 1: Hi this is Donald Trump. Danny you need to tell us what you plan to do about small ball. The American people and Celtics fans are scared shitless that small ball threatens their very existence.

Danny: Donald, I thought you were in Iowa. This fear mongering is unnecessary and un-American. Small people have as much right to play basketball as tall people.

Donald: We need to measure everyone below 6 ft 5 inches and keep them out of the country and for those that are here we need to watch them closely. We need to gather them up and ship them off to Midget Island. I’m the frontrunner and you’re a girl that pees sitting down:

Danny: Donald I just sent a message to my bank to put a stop payment on my campaign contribution to you. You’re a moron. Small ball is here to stay but it is more than just small ball we want guys to space the floor and encourage them to shoot the ball from as far back as possible at every opportunity.

Interviewer: next caller. Hello.. you’re on the line.

Caller # 2: Hey player…This is Demarcus. I didn’t appreciate all those hurtful things you said about me being disruptive on and off the court. I am only disruptive on the court. I know the Celtics fans want me in Boston but you act like you’re better than me. I’m worth your entire roster and all of those lame draft picks.

Danny: No need to get upset. I was speaking figuratively about the type of players that we want on the Celtics. Talk to your buddy Rondo and he’ll set you straight.

Interviewer: hello…you are live…What question do you have for Danny.

Caller # 3. This is Ralph the Pizza guy. Danny ever since you made Jared go on a diet my business has been in the red. Pizza is really good for you. It’s a complete meal and as long as you monitor the cheese intact there are absolutely no digestive side effects. Free Jared Sullinger!

Danny: Ralphie hung up. You know I am very proud of jared. But he did not lose any weight. As a matter of fact he gained 25 more pounds. The big difference is about his stamina. He now has the stamina to control the motion and vibration of his butt that occurs when he is getting up and down the court. The training staff came up with a new dietary supplement. It’s call “don’t shake that Ass’ There are a few side effects like, itching, stinging, peeling, dry mouth, insomnia, nightmares, inclination for cross dressing and a fear of making 3 point shots. Otherwise what’s not to like about it?

Interviewer: You’re on the line. Who are we speaking with?

Caller # 4. This is Charles Barkley.. Danny how’s that golf game? I got one thing to say. You need to move the Celtics to Greenbow, Alabama.

Danny: That guy has a horrible swing.

Interviewer; next caller..speak up.

Caller # 5 Hi this is Mike from Swampscott. I have a question for Danny.

Danny: I’m listening.

Mike: It seems like the Celtics are good but not good enough to be taken seriously. What does the team need to get better?

Danny: I have been saying the same thing for years. We need a go-to-guy. I tried to get Paul Pierce to sign with us during the off season but he had already agreed to play for Doc. You know Doc is great. He has assembled the best team he ever had. The way I see it we still have a lot of chances to improve the team and I can assure you that we will not rest until we have what we need.

I called the Chinese up but they want too much money for their fake basketball players. I called Houston to see if Howard could be had but they would not answer the phone. During the draft I called Michael Jordan. I offered him free golf lessons for life and he refused me his pick. I even offered to give him the snowplow and he just laughed at me and said you can’t check me. Getting great players is very difficult and I am willing to do anything I can to make it happen.

Interviewer: Hello caller # 6…You are on the line

Caller # 6 I cannot tell you my name as I wish to remain anonymous . I have taped conversations from a high up figure that owns a certain NBA team that plans to lose every game for 10 more years. My question to you is what is the league going to do about this.

Danny: This sounds like the tanking question. Tanking is a proven strategy to obtaining high draft picks but it is not the way we want to do business. The Celtics have always prided themselves on winning not losing. We have decided that after the draft, NBA security will confiscate all draft picks from any team that tanks. Then all of the remaining teams will be able to bid on these picks. The Celtics have been acquiring assets to prepare for this auction. We have more assets than anyone.

Interviewer; Danny you want another beer?

Danny: Sure…thanks..

Interviewer: Caller # 7 you are on the line. Please state your name and question for Danny.

Caller # 7 My name is Dr. Woolford. Danny why is coach Stevens not playing all of his good players.

Danny: Dr Woolford nice to hear from you. Dr Woolford is the one who performs off season surgery on our players, staff and family members. One of his notable successes was the work he did on Kelly Olynyk. Kelly no longer has alligator arms. During the off season a revolutionary bionic steel extension was developed by the good doctor and he was able to extend Kelly’s arm length by one whole inch. That has given him a 2 inch longer wingspan. His next project it to lengthen IT . Next year IT will definitely be 6 feet tall.

As to your question. Coach Stevens has too many guys that can play the same position. Quite naturally some guys are not going to play but that’s the beauty of it. We want guys on this team that are happy not to play. We want guys that will sit on the bench and be happy. We want guys to understand that they get better each game that they do not play.

Interviewer: Well Danny time to wrap this one up. We want to thank you for your time. Do you have anything else to say to us Celtics fans?

Danny: Celtics fans. We appreciate your continued support for the team and for what we are trying to accomplish. Know this…..The final key to the rebuild lies in a rather benign state. It is not something you may think about and it is not something easily understood …once we are able to package the snowplow along with players, draft picks and other insignificant attractions we will have all that we need to win another Championship or 2.

dboss

by **dboss** Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:56 pm

Interview With Danny Ainge

by dboss on Thu Nov 09, 2017 1:16 pm

Interview with Danny Ainge

Before last night's game we had a chance to catch up with Danny Ainge and he sat done with us to discuss the Celtics. We ran a live feed and set up a phone bank.

Interviewer Danny thanks for joining us. It has been a long time since we have had a chance to talk with you about the Celtics and we certainly have a lot to talk about.

Danny: I always enjoys spending time talking about the Celtics.

Interviewer: let's get right to it. The Celtics had a great year making it to the NBA ECF but lost in 5. Now you have turned over more than half the roster. Why so many changes all at once.?

Danny: I like to mixed things up. I have a reputation to uphold being a riverboat gambler. Last Spring my wife decided to redecorate the entire house. I did not protest. We had a bet that could do the same with my team. I won that bet. I am a very competitive guy.

interviewer: Danny we got a caller on the line that has a question for you. hello caller please state your name and question for Danny:

Caller: Danny you dirty dog. This is Magic. You told me you were going to draft Lonzo with the first pick and then you trade the pick to Philly. You sucked me in with all the I love Lonzo BS. You wanted Tatum all along but played a cat and mouse game.

Interviewer: do you have a question for Danny?

Magic: yea how can you live with yourself?

Danny: You deserve what you got, a warped shooter with a loud mouth daddy.

Interviewer: We have another caller. We are here with Danny Ainge please tell us your name and the question you have for Danny.

Mel: This is Mel from Melrose. I watched the Lakers game last night and really like the way Randle played. How come you took Smart instead of him? Smart can't shoot.

Danny: I try not to be short-sighted when drafting and I also try to follow all the unwritten golden rules. One of them states that no NBA team is allowed to have more than one player on their team with extremely short arms. Since we planned to draft Kelly the following year we had to pass on taking Randle.

Interviewer. Another caller. Please turn down your radio.

Caller: This is kim jong un. I demanded last year you get Dennis Rodman on team. You failed to do so represents a direct threat to Glorious Republic of North Korea. Now we shoot down three point shot with ICBM. Your fault little dogface.

Danny: Basketball without borders is not a good fit over there.

Interviewer: Much has been made about the unexpected Kyrie Irving trade. No one saw that one coming. Can you tell us the sequence of....got another caller.

Lebron James is on line one.

King James: Danny you are as sneaky as a rattlesnake. I just found out that your orchestrated this whole thing. You planted fake news about me and Kyrie.

Danny: Correct!

Interviewer: As I was saying the sequence....damn phone

Bryan Colangelo: Colangelo here. Danny I have know a lot of weasels but you are the ultimate weasel. What the hell did you do to Markelle? He looked great when we worked him out but then he visits the Boston Celtics and comes back a spastic. Can't shoot can barely walk or talk.

Danny: Fleeced Cha!

Interviewer: Damn Danny, everyone is mad at you. Next caller please

Anonymous caller: Hey Danny I am a business man and was thinking about starting my own G-League team. Do you have any young players that I could lease by the minute?

Danny: How many draft picks do I get out of the deal?

Interviewer: Danny caller ID shows that came from some guy name Weinstein.

Danny: Everybody wants a piece of the action.

Interviewer: Danny looks like we are running out of time. We want to thank you for your time. Are you going to drink that beer?

Danny: Take out!

by **dboss** Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:57 pm

Interview With Danny Ainge

by dboss on Fri Jul 05, 2013 12:44 pm

Much has happened since we last interviewed Danny and doc down in Florida. Doc has been traded to the Clippers and KG and PP will become members of the Nets. We just drafted a couple of centers, hired a new coach and stocked the roster for the Orlando summer league. A lot going on here. We asked Danny to share some thoughts with us about what us fans can expect from the Celtics this year and what went into his decision making .

Interviewer:    Danny the last time we spoke you told us that doc was coming back. What happened?

Danny: Beats me… I was surprised as anyone that Doc no longer was up to the challenge of coaching the Celtics.

Interview: Can you give us a timeline on how this developed?

Danny: It actually started over a year ago. Chris Paul approached Doc about coaching the Clippers. Doc laughed it off until this past year when we tried to pull the trigger on the KG for Jordan/Bledsoe trade. Doc decided right then that he may not come back and coach if either KG or PP were traded. Those guys are his security blanket…literally. On road trips they used to sneek into doc’s room at night and put a blanket over him because Doc suffers from this re-occurring cold-sweat nightmare where his team is on an endless losing streak. This has been going on for years.

Interviewer: fascinating!...

Danny: and that is only part of the story. The reason why Chris Paul approached Doc is because this was a way to get back at Rondo whom Chris hates with a passion. He thought by stealing Doc away Rondo would be hurt.

Interviewer: So clandestine!

Danny: Rondos’ happy as shit.. so that ain’t going impact him at all.

Interviewer: And tell us about the nets deal

Danny: The Nets called me and asked if they could speak to doc and I said go flip yourself.

Interviewer: That was a STRONG NO…

Danny: Yep…but I was just setting them up for the kill. I knew they wanted KG and PP and I’m thinking I can take care of all these issues at once. I love KG and PP but as anyone can see their productivity has diminished over the years. KG was a real warrior in the playoffs and paul tried his darndest to play well but it was time for a change so I made it happen. Those two are tied at the hip so it was easier than you think. It will be great watching Paul try to play with Joe Johnson. They despise each other. And I hate the Russians. This was like shooting a torpedo into a sinking ship. And Terry is a zombie infiltrator. The tattoo is actually a remote control device that will sabotage their offense. He had it installed in china town and we told him not to go there. He couldn’t make a jumper all year.

Interviewer: And what about the compensation? Picks and players. Do you think we got a fair deal.

Danny: Absolutely. The picks provide assets. As you know, I honor draft picks. The players we took back however are up in the air. Wallace is still running around with that California Curl which looks so tacky and Humphreys may still be suffering from that awful disease known as Kardasianitis. Bogans got a bogus salary increase. I like the kid Brooks though.
Interviewer: So with all the players on the roster you have a lot of work to do.

Danny: Yes…We’ve retained Vinny ‘the razor” who should be able to make some of these players disappear. According to the CBA there is nothing that prevents us from killing off a few players. We’ll slice that roster down to 15 before you know it.

Interviewer: I would like to turn our attention toward Rajon Rondo and all the trade rumors.

Danny: Like I said before I will answer the phone because it is part of my job description. If someone calls to inquire about a player I always listen. I have no immediate plans to trade Rondo. We expect him to be ready by training camp. He is part of our core group of players to build around.

Interviewer: Rumors persists that Rondo was the cause of Doc leaving the Celtics.

Danny:    OK….Rondo and doc had a love hate relationship. Doc told me that he let Rondo call a few plays and then Rondo wanted to call all of the plays and when doc would not let him call plays Rondo got made and decided to highjack the team from Doc. It came to a head a few years ago at practice when Doc was showing the team some film and pointing out to everyone all the mistakes that Rondo was making. Ronda got made and cussed Doc out New York style. Doc told him to leave and rondo refuses so doc began chasing Rondo around the court. It was the funnest thing I have ever seen. Doc got a real bad back and Rondo was using his speed and quickness to get away. Rondo has excellent speed and quickness and was able to anticipate doc’s every move.   Rondo is clairvoyant and can see 2 moves ahead. Doc had no chance. Finally Rondo just left practice. The next day rondo came in met with doc and apologized for being an asshole and doc apologized for also being an asshole for showing up Rondo.

No team needs more than one asshole so doc had to go.

Interviewer: Thanks for sharing

Danny; Don’t mention it…to anybody or we’ll put you on Vinny’s list.

Interviewer: hah, ha

Interviewer: Ok can you tell us about drafting Olynick and Iverson.

Danny: Olynick was on our radar for a few years. We like his offense and want him to play PF. Iverson is just a big shit kicking cowboy from South Dakota that should give us some depth at center once he returns from Europe.

Interviewer: The scouting report indicates that Olynick is not a very good rebounder, is weak in the post and cannot defend because he is slow to slide over and he has really short arms for a 7 footer. Could you comment on that?

Danny: We know he is not a good defender so that is why we want to turn him into a stretch 4. He will also need surgery before the season starts to add six inch extensions on his arms to lose the alligator profile.   As they say you can’t teach height but you can grow arms.

Interviewer: Coach Stevens..

Danny: yes

Interviewer: You said that you were in no hurry to hire a coach and now it turns out that you had contacted Stevens a while ago. Is it fair to say that you were not being totally candid about your coaching search.

Danny: Correct

Interviewer: Why coach Stevens? The last time the Celtics were going through a rebuilding process we hired Rick Pitino who was also a well respected college coach. College coaches have in the past struggled to adjust to the pro game. Why did you go this route?

Danny: Stevens is a young, smart, innovative coach that should be able to relate to all of the young guys on the team. This is a small risk high reward deal. Plus we really did not want to pay a ransom salary to the next coach.

Interviewer: So how will his coaching philosophy help the Celtics.

Danny: Coach Stevens is a big believer in Cyborgenetics. It is a process. It begins with gathering the team around. Sitting in a big circle on the floor. Next the coach will give each player a supply of the ABC wooden building blocks. They are then free to use the blocks to construct whatever they want to. If a player like Rondo for example gets mad and kicks over one of his teammates blocks he will immediately be put in a time out cage. This system seems to have worked well in the past. Next there will be no actual starting lineup. At times there may appear to be a lot of untimely substitutions but in fact coach Stevens will be tapping into his hard analytical data that tells who should be on the court with whom for every second of the game. It’s ingenious.

Interviewer: Wow that is really impressive. It’s marvelous. It’s so scientific.

Danny: It’s fantastic

Interviewer: It’s unbelievable

Danny: It’s mind boggling

Interviewer: It’s futuristic

Danny: it’s innovative

Interviewer: It’s space age

Danny: It’s time to go!

Interviewer: I just want to say that I am extremely happy with the Stevens hire, the draft picks, the trades and everything Celtics.

Danny: Well I can assure you that Vinny will not be contacting you anytime soon!

dboss

by **dboss** Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:58 pm

Interview With Danny Ainge

by dboss on Thu Jan 24, 2019 2:39 pm

The following is an accurate account of a recent interview with Danny Ainge. It took place at the Dedham Mall. Danny offered to spring for lunch so I arrived here at Chipotle around quarter of one. I just came from Dick's. I get coupons from them at least once a week. Danny likes to keep you in suspense. He may already be here but normally he likes to make a grand entrance. This place is described as a fast food Mexican restaurante. I always thought that Mexican Food was fast food. The concept involves eating the food very fast. The quicker it goes in, the quicker it comes out. There's Danny now, he is being checked at the entrance for contraband.

Hi Danny as always thanks for the interview. Please do not order for me. Hey waiter, I'm going have lunch special #1 Speedy Gonzales 2 beef burritos, rice and refried beans and oh can you give me a side order of Jalapenos to wash it all down? Thanks.

So Danny you really love this place. I recall you brought Markelle Fultz here before the 2017 draft.

Danny: I knew the interview with Futlz was just obligatory. We had no intentions of drafting him but I needed to make the Sixers think we really wanted him. I even gave them a look where we are tweet but they still didn't get it.

The worst thing about that Sixer deal is that Jerry won't stop calling me. He is determined to undo the deal and claims he can get his old job back. I had to block his number.

Interviewer you don't say. Hmmm these refried beans are cooked to perfection. So Danny we have a lot to talk about. We're halfway through the season. The Celtics have been up and down more than a porn star in a triple X rated flick.

Danny: That's one way to look at it.

Interviewer: Who is this team right now. How good are they? Can they compete for the title this year?

Danny: Becoming a championship team is a very difficult endeavor. Everything has to fit together. Players have to understand their roles and these guys need to be coached, even Kyrie. They have had to adjust to changes in the rotation and a lot of other things. I still believe we have enough talent to make it to the big dance.

Interviewer: There were some recent dust ups. The whole league and fans have been talking about it. Jaylen Brown was pushed by Morris during a timeout. Right in front of fans. What was that all about?

Danny: Hey waiter more ice tea please.

Interviewer: so can you tell us what that was all about.

Danny: As I explained to Jaylen's mom, Michalle, it was all staged. Nothing really happened. When we signed Morris we did so because we needed a thug type to make us scarier. During the timeout Brad called a defensive set where Morris was going to intentionally foul his man and Brad asked him to practice on Jaylen first. It had nothing to do with Jaylen not getting back on defense. We already have punishment for that.

We secretly hired Big Baby Davis. Whenever a player misses an assignment he gets treated like a baby. Big Baby's only job is to sit on the player for 15 minutes while crying and sucking his thumb. Our players really hate that and it seems to be working.

Interviewer: What about the Kyrie and Hayward exchange after a last second play did not work.

Danny: The media likes to make more out of things than they need to. Kyrie is our go to guy. He is best shooting just before the buzzer sounds. He can do that. He's ok now and he will get the next 5 last second shots.

Interviewer: I see that Al Horford has been sitting out a lot of games. He has already missed 10 games this year. Is he going to be okay for the stretch run and into the playoffs?

Danny: Ole Al is suffering from limp knee pain.

Interviewer: What's the short and long term prognosis?

Danny: We decided to manage the knee. That requires rest but when he plays we asked him to avoid jumping for rebounds.

Interviewer: Danny I recall a while back you had to manage Sullinger's bad back and last year Kyrie's knee had to be managed. In the end you had to shut both of them down for the year. Is Al heading to that same situation?

Danny: No I think we're good here. As long as he doesn't rebound he can play.

Interviewer: Thanks. Now the other topic that is getting a lot of attention is Anthony Davis. You want him right?

Danny: Everybody wants AD. He's a top guy to have on any team.

Interviewer: No shit. You'd love to have him. What's it gonna take?

Danny: I gotta take this call. Hello, yes it is, when did it expire? I'm here now, wish you had let me know earlier. yeah thanks.
That was Corporate Chipolte. My Eat-All coupon expired about 1/2 hour ago. Do you have any loose change?

Interviewer: I gotcha. I take you to lunch. What a hoot!

So about AD?

Danny: yea as I was saying he is really special and if there is a chance then we are prepared to pounce on it.

Interviewer: Any idea what you would have to give up?

Danny: Probably half the team and a ton of draft picks.

Interviewer: That much huh...wow.

We are almost finished here but I want to take a couple of call ins. I have this new mobile app that takes call from anywhere. Can you take a few calls?

Danny: sure.

Interviewer: hello I am here with Danny Ainge. Do you have a question for him

caller # 1 Hey this is Stephen A from First Take. I thought your guys were ballers but I was wrong. I'm rolling with Golden State. whatdoyathinkaboutthat?

Danny: Go flip Yourself Stephen A. You're an asshole.

Interviewer: hello caller hello. Please turn down the music. What' s your question for Danny

Caller #2 This is Vladimir. You no Russians on Celtics. Russian is good. Win bigtime..call donnie, he tell you good.

Danny: These Russians are everywhere.

Interviewer. hello caller. Hi Magic. Let me guess you want to speak to Danny.

Caller #3 Danny I know what you are up to. Don't even try it. The Lakers are all set to get Anthony. We got Lebron and his agent in camp so give it up.
Danny: still pissed off about the Lonzo thing. You coulda had Jason but you listen to big mouth Lavar. You got jack!. Your in the lotto again, ha

Interviewer: hey caller your on:

caller # 4 This is Bruce...from Attleboro? You got any of that chipolte left? Can you do a take out. I am a long time Celtics fan and I want some chipotle too. I am right outside in the parking lot. You'll see my car. It's the faded blue 1999 Buick. It may not look like much but I made some modifications to it myself. It did the route 2 run in under 5 minutes.

Danny: Sorry Bruce we ate all the chipolte and are heading for an extended visit to the men's room. Hey keep rooting for the Celtics.

Interviewer: Well Danny this wraps it up. Again thanks for taking me to lunch and I'll pick up the check.

Danny: Anytime

by **dboss** Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:59 pm

Interview With Danny Ainge

by dboss on Mon Dec 30, 2019 12:55 pm

Before the year flips over to 2020 we hoped for a year end discussion with Danny Ainge. I have to figure out how to get him to pick up the tab. He has a way to really stick it to people. If I can come away with only giving up a 2nd round of drinks, I'll win.

We are all set up to do a live podcast at Giulia in Cambridge. I can never find a parking space so I was gonna take an Uber but I decided to take a new service that is taking the market by storm. It's called RYAO (ride your ass off) I heard their rates are cheaper. Plus they got these special adult size car seats that are very comfortable. I'll send you a link to the app.

My goodness, there's Danny standing outside talking on his Smart phone.

Interviewer: Hey Danny, I heard this is a great place if you like Italian.

Danny: I think you'll like it.

Interviewer: Can I assume that you'll be expensing this lunch?

Danny: Let's order and not worry about that. Do you like Italian?

Interviewer: love it.

Waiter: are you ready to order?

Danny: Yes, I'll have spaghetti.

Waiter: I'm sorry but that is not on the menu.

Interviewer: I know what I want. I'll have the buckwheat pizzoccheri (cabbage, potatoes, fontina and fresh black truffles)

Danny: I'll have the same.

Waiter: drinks?

Danny: Not now.

Interviewer: Nothing for me.

Interviewer: We have so many questions for you. Here we are deep into the season but we want to go back to the end of last season. The disappointing playoff loss to the Bucks, then the draft and free agency. Danny you have been busy.

Interviewer: Danny what happened?

Danny: The team could not find chemistry last year. It was a combination of many things.

I know everyone wants to blame Kyrie but he was completely to blame. He had some issues last year and I think Terry Rozier was the main culprit.

Interviewer: how so?

Danny: Kyrie lost all focus because he kept having a reoccurring nightmare of Terry wearing that stupid Scary Terry mask. Terry knew it bothered him and thought that it would help him take the starting PG slot from Kyrie.

Interviewer: Did the Celtics organization try to get Kyrie some help? Some professional counselling?

Danny: We did. We brought in many specialists that are experts in all aspects of human behavior. We tried shock therapy. We tried isolation in our 1-3-1 offensive sets. We let him rent the practice facility so that he and his dad could experience a special moment together. We tried extended dribbling exercises. Nothing seemed to work. In the end we just told him to keep shooting in hopes that he could shoot away the fear.

Interviewer: So why did he leave? Why the Nets. It seems the Celtics did everything they could.

Danny: He has always had a fascination with the Brooklyn Bridge. The Nets were willing to add a sweetner in his contract that guarantees a walk across the bridge backwards at 1:27 PM every day during home games.

Interviewer: I see. That would be hard to match.

Interviewer: What about Al.

Danny: We made Al a fair offer but let's remember he was a mercenary when we signed him and he stayed a mercenary.

Interviewer: Your big FA signing was Kemba.

Danny: I love kemba ever since he played at uconn. We had to maintain consistency at the point by getting a high scoring guy that cannot play defense. We went from IT to Kyrie so Kemba was a perfect fit and he is a staunch believer that the earth is round. That nailed it for me.

Interviewer: You drafted Romeo Langford out of Indiana. Grant out of TN and Carsen Edwards from Purdue and Tremont Waters out of LSU.

Danny: I'm glad LSU beat the crap out of Oklahoma.

Interviewer: Can you tell us more about these players.

Danny: Romeo was Mr all world basketball in Indiana when he was in high school. He injured his big right toe but played through the pain. I like tough guys. Carsen is a shooter and me and Brad love shooters. Waters is from the northeast so I really like him.

Interviewer: And Grant Williams?

Danny: I had to draft him. He wouldn't stop talking. I had to draft him. He wouldn't stop talking. I had to...

Interviewer: I get it, he talked you into drafting him.

Interviewer: Tacko Fall

Danny: You gotta love him. He's very tall. We see a lot of upside. We are working with him to just stand under the basket and put it right in. We have a trick play where he goes and stands under the basket in the same spot and never moves. We do not want him to play defense so he can just stand there on one end of the court. We have even added a wrinkle where Tremont stands on his shoulders to receive the pass. I think the fans will love this and really appreciate the creativity.

Interviewer: So Danny there were a lot of changes around the NBA with all the elite paring that took place. How come you could not make a deal for AD.

Danny: They (NO) wanted too much plus AD father had an allergic reaction to truth and lastly Lebron James and his agent needed a high profile player to blame when the Lakers got dusted.

Interviewer: Are we all set to take a few calls?

Danny: I'm ready.

Interviewer Hello you're live. Please tell us who you are. Danny is ready to answer your question.

Caller #1: This is president Erdogan. Danny you liar. I sent you money to turn the terrorist over to me, Where is he?

Danny: You mean Enes? He's at the practice facility working on his 3 point shot. You never sent the money so you can piss off.

Erdogan: We'll invade Greece!

Danny: What a scumbag.

Caller #2 This is John Hammond, Orlando Magic GM. Danny we need to talk.

Danny: About?

Hammond : Fultz you sonofabitch. We had to rush him to the hospital and pump out his stomach. They found Chipotle. He's been carrying it around since you took him to lunch over two years ago. The Gastrologist has confirmed that it is affecting his shooting.

Danny: Just goes to show that you are what you eat.

Interviewer: Hello caller, your next.

Caller #3 Hi this is Buckwheat. I want to speak to the manager. I forbid that my image, or name or likeness be used by your restaurant to enhance your so-called Italian menu!

Danny: "Otay"

Caller # 4. John Hammond again.

Danny: Call the Sixers

Caller #5 This is Ralph from RYAO, are you ready to get pick up?

Danny: it's for you.

Caller # 6 This is Vladimir Putin, Мы заставили всех ненавидеть Селтикс. (translation: We got everyone to hate the Celtics.)

Danny: Отвали fu.k off

Waiter: Just let me know when you are ready.

Interviewer: I got to go to the bathroom. Is it okay if I go to the bathroom?

Danny: if you got to go you got to go!

by **NYCelt** Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:56 pm

dboss,

I didn't remember the interviews go all the way back to '09.

Great stuff!

by **dboss** Tue Mar 24, 2020 11:32 pm

NYCelt wrote:dboss,

I didn't remember the interviews go all the way back to '09.

Great stuff!

Thanks NYCelt. I was not aware of that myself. With all the that is going on I thought maybe I could bring a little fun stuff. Afterall, we are not communists.

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Reposting some interviews